Well I just got done talking to Booky. I told her the situation I'm in with two of my friends from school.
Basically the situation is one of my friends(A) really offended my other friend(B) and now they're not talking to each other. Granted, this has been going on for maybe more than 2 months?
But yeah, I told her what was going on and how I was pretty much stuck in the middle. Booky says that they just need to make up and tell each other how they feel ASAP. However I said there's probably no way of doing that. Because A doesn't care anymore and says time will fix things while B just doesn't wanna talk to him. And they've been avoiding each other and not talking for months, I think the both of them already know that their friendship is dead.
She said it was unfair for me because I'd still like to hang out with the both of them together but can't. But then I tell her that if avoidance is what they want, then I'm fine with it. This is where Booky gets concerned about me :/
She says she doesn't want me to become somebody who's willing to give up their own happiness to help others. Selflessness is a good trait but I should focus on my own happiness sometimes. She's worried that I'll give up everything and get nothing in return in the end.
I'm not concerned with what I get in the end, just as long as others are happy, I'm essentially satisfied. Is that weird? I'd like them to make up but I can accept the fact that they probably won't. Is that bad? Or does it say I'm just a lazy person for not being able to put enough effort into them patching things up? I don't know, honestly. But as long as I can still talk to the two of them, I'm ok.
On the inside you can say I'm a raging ball of emotions. In my mind as I'm thinking, I'm selfish and impatient. But outside I show restraint. People say that it's a good thing to have the ablity to control yourself, others would probably say I'm not showing my trueself. I honestly don't know but it's just the way I am. You tell me I should focus on my own happiness. Why should you worry about me when you should focus on yourself as well?
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2 comments:
Jizzywizzy~ What you should do is just hang out with both of them regardless. Essentially force them to talk to each other, but do it nonchalantly :3
And I agree with Booky thar, being selfish is sw8.
Yeah, I know, I'm hanging out with both of them regardless. However it's really orz when the dramu heats up, leaves me in the middle = D= But whatevs.
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