Wednesday, October 8, 2008
180
I've been really trying to convince myself otherwise but I really can't ignore the fact that I've been feeling like shit more and more lately. I don't know what it is that's been bothering me, but every night I just suddenly feel really depressed and I constantly have to find new things to take my mind off of it. I don't even know why I feel sad either. I would feel tired, then suddenly very sad, and from there, thousands of thoughts fill my mind. I think what's bothering me the most is I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact that things aren't the same anymore and so far there's nothing to fill that void. And it feels..a little empty inside and I can't help but feel alone. I think she was right, I spent too much time trying to love her and make her happy that I failed to keep up any other relationships with friends that I just pretty much screwed myself over in the long run. Now I have nobody to talk to and I'm not particularly close to anybody anymore either. However, this isn't the first time it's happened. Why can't I learn from my mistakes? Well..I'm sure, hopefully, things well get better. I'll meet new people and friends, and I'll move on eventually. But it's been bothering me so much lately, it's hard to sleep at night and I even cried at school earlier today for no reason. But I REALLY hope it's all just PMS. I always tend to get really depressed when it comes around haha... fuck OTL
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2 comments:
Ahh, I know what you mean... Poor, Jin... I think part of it is contributed by the lack of sleep, since for me I tend to get super short fused (more than usual) when I lack my 12 hours of sleep orz. And also on the friends part, I know what you mean, since I've actually never had a friend that I was closest to and stuff since I've moved around so many times... I would say I'll stay up and distract you on MSN but I tend to fall asleep earlier these days... *getting old orz* But whenever I can, if I'm online, I'll bother you? xD But just tell me if I'm actually bothering you, mmk? *doesn't make sense*
CHEER UP, TWIN-SAN *holds your arms and moves them up and down*
Yeah, same here. I always used to move a lot so it was rather hard for me to make close friends. I used to have a few friends I saw as true friends back in middle school. But once we went to high school, we all just kinda drifted apart :/
Haha, sure no prob. It takes A LOT for somebody to annoy/bother me so don't worry about it xD;
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