Beating but never touching.
Wouldn't that describe our hearts?

Connecting but never transferring.
Wouldn't that describe our relationship?

Data that transfers less that 0.1kb per hour.
A connection that disconnects constantly.
Two hearts that beat differently.

A treadmill that's at the speed of 10 miles per hour.
Yet we're only walking less than 1.

Fallen and scraped.

Always trying to reach out towards each other.
But fate makes it impossible to touch.

The hands of time.
You passed by me so many times.
But I can never hold onto you for more than a second.

I'm sorry

It's complicated.

I don't even know what to feel or how to feel or what to say.

It's complicated.

But I don't want to be the bad guy.

Feelings of sadness, loss, jealousy, and regret. They'll pass, right? They always do.

So it doesn't matter to me.

Because somebody like me

If I keep telling myself

That somebody like me doesn't deserve love,

I'll believe and accept it.

Because it's silly.

Love rips man apart.

A normal person doesn't want their hands stained with blood.

If that is what you desire. If this is what you desire. Then I won't fight back.

You can have them.

But what is it that they desire?

It's complicated. It's silly.

But I don't want to be the one who ruins somebody's happiness.

I can't deny you of your feelings.

It's fine. I can let go. Many times. I've tasted it.

Did you know

you can survive longer without food than you can without water.

If you have neither, are you a goner?

I've lost myself to a delusion.

I want to kill myself

I've been hating who I am lately. I try to distract myself but whenever there's nothing to do, the feeling gets worse. It feels like I'm running away. But I'd rather run away than be myself.

I don't like who I am, what I do, how I look, how I act. I want to kill everything and bury it.

It's horrible, it stinks, nasty, ugly. It isn't very cute or pretty to the eye.

If I kill the me I hate, maybe I would love myself.

Dear person,

I know that you like me so I've been trying real hard not to be a douchebag and snap at you. But can you please just stop it? It's very burdensome.

I know you genuinely care but can you like...not? Or at least change the way you're doing it? Because right now, it feels like you only care because you want to get with me that badly.

You confessed to me and I never said anything. Just an, "Oh, okay" and laughed to get rid of the awkwardness but I took you seriously. However, just because I didn't give you a flat out no, that doesn't give you the okay to try and get with me with full force.

Honey, if I don't like you now, what makes you think I'm going to like you if you keep trying to impress me?

You're not impressing anybody and everybody else I've talked to about you think you're trying too hard that it's annoying.

You mope around because you know it's one sided so much to the point that everybody can see it. It's just so annoying. Do you know how burdensome that is on me?

I know that you care and as a friend, I appreciate it, but can you stop acting like that?

You say you don't have to put any effort into being friends with people you feel comfortable with, and you say that you feel comfortable with me, but then why does it feel like you're trying so hard?

You constantly worry whether or not a conversation with me is awkward. Seriously, wtf?

If you know it's one-sided, go build a goddamn bridge elsewhere and get the fuck over it and buy some mother fucking ice cream. FUCK.

It's just so burdensome. If you keep it up, I feel that one day I may snap at you. I don't want to, but the way you're acting isn't making me like you any more but less. So please stop.

This is my luck

She likes him. He likes her. I liked him. He liked me. I still sorta like him. He still sorta likes me. FFFFFFFFUU.

Last night I talked to Tobi for the first time in a long while. We were on the topic of likes and dislikes with people cos we had to vent about certain people. Then we got on the topic of likes and Tobi mentioned to me that he and Jeri liked each other but they can't do anything cos of complications. I got sorta sad but I told myself, "Oh, it's okay. I said I was over love and relationships anyway."

I then later said how much it annoys me when people I happen to not like are usually the ones who have the balls to say that they like me and people I happen to do like only tell me that they liked me when when they're over it.

A while of shits and giggles pass by and then Tobi says, "I'm gonna sound like a douche for saying this but I liked you."

And so I was like, "Well, shit. The funny thing is, I liked you too."

So we FFFFFFFUU'd about it together and idek anymore.

He says he still sorta likes me and that out of all the people he knows online, he thinks about me the most. I d'awwwd and...srsly idek.

My luck. My timing. /facepalm

Issallgood.

I'm not even done

I have built in rage right now.

There're these bitches I don't like.

My god, I don't even know. Piss me off so much.

"This is why we don't have guys on our team."

LOL SEXIST BITCH, MUCH?

Man, you guys are the reason why it's bad to have only girls on a team, srsly.

Girls are bitches already, you get a group of 'em together and that just fucking intensifies tenfold.

Also, so much more ego than I have. Oh man, I can't even describe it. No really, you thought I was cocky? Fuck man, the sad part is, they don't even know so they just keep talking.

Goddammit, really. I just want to smack them across the boobs or something. JESUS CHRIST.

Sometimes I wonder how and why I put up with people like this? My tolerance makes me want to cry sometimes.

Yeah, right after this post, I will take a deep breath and continue to associate myself with them. For what reason, I have no idea. Just gotta keep doing what I like doing even if the people I'm working with piss the shit out of me off.

~*ROOTS*~

I can't comment on your entry

But amen to that, Fran. Girls are stupid.

You think maybe that's why they're oppressed and that glass ceiling exists. It's because girls are just so much more easy to manipulate. It's sad.

Also, I just want to say, I hate a lot of feminists. I don't care if I'm a girl myself, I hate it when girls get easily offended at certain things and just say a MAN is being offensive when they go and say some sexist things themselves. Bitches, srsly.

Go fuck yourselves, goddamn.

I don't care if I seem ungrateful to the early feminist movements and achievements they've made. I know that without them, I'd probably be folding clothes all day and my ass in the kitchen, but really? I know that in the past the female population as always been dogged, suppressed, and dominated, but really? Wow.

It's the stupid girl who makes themselves weak. It's the stupid one who falls for the trap that ends up the victim.

Girls, stop being so fucking stupid.

If you don't want to be treated as mere eye candy, stop believing everything society tells you. If you don't want to be another hole a man can jam his cock into, sew that shit up, srsly.

You only think you're oppressed when you know you're weak.

I really don't like feminists. I hated writing about them in English class so much. Go shove a tampon up your vag and move on, goddamn.

nastyyyyyyyyy

nasty nasty nasty nasty nasty nasty nasty
ewwwwwwwwww

Don't you just kind of find it awkward when two people you knew in high school start dating each other? It's like, "oh, since when were you two close?"

and then when the two most unsuspecting people get together it's like

OH MY GOD!

It's really weird.

And sometimes very nasty when it's two people you don't really like LMAO

Oh, but good luck to the two of them, of course.

hmm

Let's see here what I can address here at the moment.

First, I wanna say sorry that I said I didn't like your art. I actually don't remember ever saying that. I don't diss peoples' art unless somebody tells me to because it's the sad effect of bandwagon mentality. I have the logs for my Livestream, never said it there so if I said it on Tinychat, balls on me. And it's bad that I seriously don't remember ever saying it either. It's like that time I apparently wrote, "And you're a bitch" at the end of my essay in 10th grade. Don't remember ever writing it, don't even know how it got there, but my teacher was pretty upset with me. I remember how much it pissed me off that I couldn't recall anything. Still mind boggling, just like right now.

I'm actually not really the type of person who talks much in a conversation. I'm the person who sits there, listens, adds a few commentary here and there, and that's about it. I'm no real conversation starter. And when I'm online, I'm usually just idling. I think I just got into the habit of idling like I do on IRC. One hour I'm like, "FDSOFJSDOFJS RAEG" and then the next somebody's like, "Oh lol." Chatting in slow motion.

I probably don't act very nice to you because of just the way you act around me. idk, if somebody greets me like, "Hey faggot" I'd be all, "Oh hay, dicktip" and just base a friendship on being douches. Impressions.

But speaking honestly, I've told this to Mark and Mei, I've thought of you as a younger sibling. Really, as gay as it sounds. It's probably because I see a piece of myself in you. A sensitive kid who was always down and was always beating themselves up over every little thing, I saw my younger self in you. And maybe that's why a part of me didn't like you, because you remind me of a time in my life that I hated. But because of that same reason, I honestly wished the best for you. That you'd grow up, toughen up, get passed everything, and find peace within yourself. I never really show it though, but it's the truth. And maybe that's the reason why I stood up for you. Maybe that's the reason why I wanted to take you out and just hang. I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. I don't run on reason or logic.

There are times I think ~*IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE*~ As if it were just an accidental meeting between to completely opposite people that was never supposed to happen because it just doesn't work.

I can't say much right now though. The sun is up, I can't think around this time.

genius is not the answer to all questions, it's the question to all answers.

money is power, only when nothing is free.

life is like your homie, it's 'holdin' you down'.

But who's blaming who? Never are we the ones.
We point the finger at the skies and the chosen 'son'.

The truth is ruthless. Toothless but fanged.
Two-faced bruteness. Roofless in the rain.
The crude taste of sane. A suitcase full of pain.
The truth is truthless. A moot case of blame.

Turning into old folk, chasing after rose gold.
What they don't know is that it belongs to a fool.
Choosing wants over needs, singing songs of a mule.
Carrying their burdens when you barely know the person,
and that is the difference between a pharaoh and a servant.

People say Epik High is overrated, that they're nothing special, their "deep lyrics" shouldn't be praised as much as they are. But when I listen to their songs and look at Tablo's lyrics, I can't help but like the way that man thinks. I want his logic.

LMAO

I like how when I'm in a new group of people and they crack gay jokes like, "It's okay, we're all bi somewhere inside, right?"

And then I go, "lol I'm lesbian" they'd just laugh and then be all, "WAIT WUT"

so hilarious.

Especially when a guy would be like, "Aw fuck. I thought you were pretty cute too." LMAO I'm a cock block.

But it's nice that people don't treat me any differently <:

It's like, "Oh, okay. You're not any different to the person I was talking to a second ago anyway." Fun stuff.

RAEG

YOU FUCKER.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? NO FUCKING MULTIPLE POSTING. FUCK.

EDIT YOUR GODDAMN POST IF YOU WANNA ADD MORE. THE EDIT BUTTON IS PRETTY BIG, Y'KNOW? HOW CAN YOU NOT MISS THAT SHIT?

HOLY SHIT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO WARN YOU? LIKE SRSLY? IT'S COME TO THE POINT WHERE WHENEVER I SEE THAT KID POST, I KNOW THERE'S PROBABLY A DOUBLE OR TRIPLE POST LIKE FFFFFFUUU

CAN I BAN 'EM ALREADY? RAAAAAAAAAEEEEEGGGGG

sibling love

I go on about my brother a lot, but I really love that kid.

Sometimes I think he's probably the closest friend I've got nowadays. Best friend status, y'know?

It's a bit sad, but true.

We went through everything together. As emo as it sounds, we experienced the pain and tears together. We went through all those rough times. We know each other best.

We've had our fights and squabbles. But even when we've got a gun pointed at each others' heads one second, we calm down and just forgive each other the next. We know how each other ticks.

My brother can be a real dickhead. He'll yell at everybody, push them around, and act like a total douche. I'm no different though.

It's funny how the two of us act so arrogantly when the two of us know we're just weak little kids at heart. Sentimental matters like when it comes to family easily make us cry.

We're both bitter siblings. Bitter about everything.

My brother says he respects me. I'm glad that I can be an older sister that he can come to respect.

Even though I'm useless in practically every category, he says he respects my maturity. But I think he's mistaking my sense of maturity for just me thinking and rambling on too much about nothing like right now.

I like my brother, he's like my other half. If the decision involved the two of us, I can barely do anything without him by me and vice versa.

At times I feel bad. He probably doesn't feel the same way. He's probably annoyed. He pushes me away sometimes. It's probably puberty.

But I'm sure deep down he at least cares a little bit. If he's willing to be as open as he is with me and nobody else, I'm sure part of him feels the same way.

He means a lot to me.

Twitter friends

You know they exist and that you have them when you only talk to them through Twitter LMAO

It's so sad.

I really like CapTAEn/Pam. She's a bag of lulz and our interests are so goddamn similar. I love it.

Makes me sad that we just keep it to Twitter though LOL

One day, I will get the nerve to ask for her MSN or sumshit.

One day, I will ask her to coem to pron wif me.

Also, this was pretty much tonight's theme song. GG, boss.



You make me pissed off!

goddamn

It was supposed to be an informal meeting just to meet the newcomers but shit hit the fan LOL

Don't know which side to agree with here. But it was between personal life and business.

Ultimately, if you're a part of the group, it's strictly business, y'know?

If you can't meet deadlines or pick up your slack regardless of whether you have the means to or not, then you should be deemed as not fit for the team. I mean, it shouldn't be that hard of a concept to grasp, right?

but idk, and then stuff just gets personal. Lots of yelling and arguing. Everything just got really awkward afterward LOL;;

Oh but I'm excited for the group I'm in ahah

It's gonna be very interesting how this all goes down. If this company actually does go somewhere, I'll be pretty damn impressed.

Although I'm kinda sad since I'm the weakest link in my group like GDI LOL

Aaaaahhhhh

so cool.

The first group is comprised of all the best vocalist so they'll be focusing on ballads. The 2nd group is with all the rappers. My group, the 3rd group, I have no idea LOL It's just all the new people he took in. I wonder what our genre will be~?

because I'm pretty sure you still look at this

Am I a dick? Sure. Do I care? No.

Because I've been called lots of things before and I've learned that if somebody calls you something, it's true in one way or another and you either gotta accept or if you don't like it, change it.

And as for me, I simply just don't care so I'll accept what you call me with open arms. Granted, I'll laugh about it whether it be bad or not, that's just me. "Tell me something I don't know," is what I would say.

Am I an insensitive fucker? Yeah. I don't care.

I like how you think I don't look at your stuff just because I don't watch you.

I like how you think I don't care.

And I DON'T care.

I don't care about myself but I do care about others including you.

Should I say sorry that I revealed your name? Should I say sorry that I can't understand why you're so sensitive about it?

Girl, I hate my name too yet you went and said it. You went and said my FULL NAME. So, thanks for that.

And so I'm sorry you're bitter over it while I just brush it off.

I'd also like to address:

I don't hate your art. Just because I don't watch you doesn't mean I actually take the effort to check your actual page. I'm actually more jealous of your art because you're tenfold better than I was at your age. I have respect. You tell me not to make assumptions yet here you go.

Let me tell you something, just because I'm "popular" and seem to have lots of friends doesn't mean I don't care. Man, after Sky said you left, I went to Mark just to say, "Bro, I made Booky mad. What do I do?"

We're not close. We've known each other for years but we're not close. We're completely opposite. We think differently and it pisses me off we can't connect. It's a nice effort. I do like talking to you. It's just a bit sad that my other friends can be more chummy with you than I can. Maybe our wavelengths are just really off? But whatever. I remember all that time I stood up for you even though you felt you were at fault. I remember how much of a headache that was. I think our friendship was a real headache, don't you think? But I'm probably a weirdo for actually enjoying it. You probably weren't though. We're too different.

I'm sorry I can't act any nicer to you. But when I think about it, I'm not a very nice person or one to show much of it. It's just who I am, very brash. But it's not like there haven't been times you've acted like a dick toward me either. Guess that's just the way things go.

I'm glad you had a nice Chinese New Years/Valentines Day until I came along too cos same boat, man. When you said, "Ew Jacket" when I came in, it ruined mood so much that I was tempted to just dip. I mean, how many times have you done it? It was actually rather irritating. Even if you did just mean it as a joke. But I'm not saying I don't do the same shit to you either.

I do feel bad though, for being a bad friend. I'm a bad friend to everybody I know and I feel bad that I'm not flexible enough to change it. I don't care what others think about me or if I'm just messing up myself. I don't care about a lot of things. Why do you think my life is so fucked up at the moment? But when my faults hurt a friend, I feel bad. You've gotten in trouble whenever we tried hanging out and I feel bad for trying and for you to have to go through the effort for nothing.

So I'm sorry for that. And if you take peoples' advice and just ditch me, I'm glad because I don't want people to get associated with me any more than just light chatting. Things get complicated if there's anything deeper besides LOLing, you should know that.

Oh, just give it a day or two. It'll blow off. Will it really? But maybe I just shouldn't care whether we stay friends or not.

Okay, I'm gonna stop rambling because I don't know what I'm talking about or gonna go with this anymore.

cool story, bro. have a nice life.

TL;DR: Here, have a BSB song that could probably sum this shit up.

I'm sorry but I don't recall ever having a commitment to you.

But if you would like to try me again, I could do worse.

eckk

I know I've said this before, but I just don't get what people see in me. Or how they can come to like me for that matter.

I feel bad when somebody confesses to me and I can't really say anything but in my head I'm just like, "Oh, really?"

I guess it's because not a lot of people have actually confessed to me before.

I'd always just hear about their crushes on me long after the feeling died and it just kinda confuses me.

And it's like, it seems like everybody around me would just like my best friend instead, y'know? So it's just kinda weird when it's me.

but idk, I just find it strange how somebody can like me nowadays.

I barely talk to anybody one on one these days. I barely hang out with my irl friends too.

I pretty much distanced myself from everybody so it's like, how can you like somebody you don't even know or barely talk to?

I still feel bad though. Probably because I don't like anybody myself. I mean, I'm not attracted to anybody or find potential in any of my friends. Like srsly too. Just nobody out there.

I guess I just feel bad because it's not like I can say, "Oh, sorry. I like somebody else." And instead all I can pretty much say is, "Sorry, I don't like you or anybody else for that matter."

I think my heart has grown hard. I can't seem to get myself to open up anymore.

Ahh. I'm sorry.