hmm

Let's see here what I can address here at the moment.

First, I wanna say sorry that I said I didn't like your art. I actually don't remember ever saying that. I don't diss peoples' art unless somebody tells me to because it's the sad effect of bandwagon mentality. I have the logs for my Livestream, never said it there so if I said it on Tinychat, balls on me. And it's bad that I seriously don't remember ever saying it either. It's like that time I apparently wrote, "And you're a bitch" at the end of my essay in 10th grade. Don't remember ever writing it, don't even know how it got there, but my teacher was pretty upset with me. I remember how much it pissed me off that I couldn't recall anything. Still mind boggling, just like right now.

I'm actually not really the type of person who talks much in a conversation. I'm the person who sits there, listens, adds a few commentary here and there, and that's about it. I'm no real conversation starter. And when I'm online, I'm usually just idling. I think I just got into the habit of idling like I do on IRC. One hour I'm like, "FDSOFJSDOFJS RAEG" and then the next somebody's like, "Oh lol." Chatting in slow motion.

I probably don't act very nice to you because of just the way you act around me. idk, if somebody greets me like, "Hey faggot" I'd be all, "Oh hay, dicktip" and just base a friendship on being douches. Impressions.

But speaking honestly, I've told this to Mark and Mei, I've thought of you as a younger sibling. Really, as gay as it sounds. It's probably because I see a piece of myself in you. A sensitive kid who was always down and was always beating themselves up over every little thing, I saw my younger self in you. And maybe that's why a part of me didn't like you, because you remind me of a time in my life that I hated. But because of that same reason, I honestly wished the best for you. That you'd grow up, toughen up, get passed everything, and find peace within yourself. I never really show it though, but it's the truth. And maybe that's the reason why I stood up for you. Maybe that's the reason why I wanted to take you out and just hang. I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. I don't run on reason or logic.

There are times I think ~*IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE*~ As if it were just an accidental meeting between to completely opposite people that was never supposed to happen because it just doesn't work.

I can't say much right now though. The sun is up, I can't think around this time.