Beating but never touching.
Wouldn't that describe our hearts?

Connecting but never transferring.
Wouldn't that describe our relationship?

Data that transfers less that 0.1kb per hour.
A connection that disconnects constantly.
Two hearts that beat differently.

A treadmill that's at the speed of 10 miles per hour.
Yet we're only walking less than 1.

Fallen and scraped.

Always trying to reach out towards each other.
But fate makes it impossible to touch.

The hands of time.
You passed by me so many times.
But I can never hold onto you for more than a second.

I'm sorry

It's complicated.

I don't even know what to feel or how to feel or what to say.

It's complicated.

But I don't want to be the bad guy.

Feelings of sadness, loss, jealousy, and regret. They'll pass, right? They always do.

So it doesn't matter to me.

Because somebody like me

If I keep telling myself

That somebody like me doesn't deserve love,

I'll believe and accept it.

Because it's silly.

Love rips man apart.

A normal person doesn't want their hands stained with blood.

If that is what you desire. If this is what you desire. Then I won't fight back.

You can have them.

But what is it that they desire?

It's complicated. It's silly.

But I don't want to be the one who ruins somebody's happiness.

I can't deny you of your feelings.

It's fine. I can let go. Many times. I've tasted it.

Did you know

you can survive longer without food than you can without water.

If you have neither, are you a goner?

I've lost myself to a delusion.

I want to kill myself

I've been hating who I am lately. I try to distract myself but whenever there's nothing to do, the feeling gets worse. It feels like I'm running away. But I'd rather run away than be myself.

I don't like who I am, what I do, how I look, how I act. I want to kill everything and bury it.

It's horrible, it stinks, nasty, ugly. It isn't very cute or pretty to the eye.

If I kill the me I hate, maybe I would love myself.

Dear person,

I know that you like me so I've been trying real hard not to be a douchebag and snap at you. But can you please just stop it? It's very burdensome.

I know you genuinely care but can you like...not? Or at least change the way you're doing it? Because right now, it feels like you only care because you want to get with me that badly.

You confessed to me and I never said anything. Just an, "Oh, okay" and laughed to get rid of the awkwardness but I took you seriously. However, just because I didn't give you a flat out no, that doesn't give you the okay to try and get with me with full force.

Honey, if I don't like you now, what makes you think I'm going to like you if you keep trying to impress me?

You're not impressing anybody and everybody else I've talked to about you think you're trying too hard that it's annoying.

You mope around because you know it's one sided so much to the point that everybody can see it. It's just so annoying. Do you know how burdensome that is on me?

I know that you care and as a friend, I appreciate it, but can you stop acting like that?

You say you don't have to put any effort into being friends with people you feel comfortable with, and you say that you feel comfortable with me, but then why does it feel like you're trying so hard?

You constantly worry whether or not a conversation with me is awkward. Seriously, wtf?

If you know it's one-sided, go build a goddamn bridge elsewhere and get the fuck over it and buy some mother fucking ice cream. FUCK.

It's just so burdensome. If you keep it up, I feel that one day I may snap at you. I don't want to, but the way you're acting isn't making me like you any more but less. So please stop.

This is my luck

She likes him. He likes her. I liked him. He liked me. I still sorta like him. He still sorta likes me. FFFFFFFFUU.

Last night I talked to Tobi for the first time in a long while. We were on the topic of likes and dislikes with people cos we had to vent about certain people. Then we got on the topic of likes and Tobi mentioned to me that he and Jeri liked each other but they can't do anything cos of complications. I got sorta sad but I told myself, "Oh, it's okay. I said I was over love and relationships anyway."

I then later said how much it annoys me when people I happen to not like are usually the ones who have the balls to say that they like me and people I happen to do like only tell me that they liked me when when they're over it.

A while of shits and giggles pass by and then Tobi says, "I'm gonna sound like a douche for saying this but I liked you."

And so I was like, "Well, shit. The funny thing is, I liked you too."

So we FFFFFFFUU'd about it together and idek anymore.

He says he still sorta likes me and that out of all the people he knows online, he thinks about me the most. I d'awwwd and...srsly idek.

My luck. My timing. /facepalm

Issallgood.

I'm not even done

I have built in rage right now.

There're these bitches I don't like.

My god, I don't even know. Piss me off so much.

"This is why we don't have guys on our team."

LOL SEXIST BITCH, MUCH?

Man, you guys are the reason why it's bad to have only girls on a team, srsly.

Girls are bitches already, you get a group of 'em together and that just fucking intensifies tenfold.

Also, so much more ego than I have. Oh man, I can't even describe it. No really, you thought I was cocky? Fuck man, the sad part is, they don't even know so they just keep talking.

Goddammit, really. I just want to smack them across the boobs or something. JESUS CHRIST.

Sometimes I wonder how and why I put up with people like this? My tolerance makes me want to cry sometimes.

Yeah, right after this post, I will take a deep breath and continue to associate myself with them. For what reason, I have no idea. Just gotta keep doing what I like doing even if the people I'm working with piss the shit out of me off.

~*ROOTS*~

I can't comment on your entry

But amen to that, Fran. Girls are stupid.

You think maybe that's why they're oppressed and that glass ceiling exists. It's because girls are just so much more easy to manipulate. It's sad.

Also, I just want to say, I hate a lot of feminists. I don't care if I'm a girl myself, I hate it when girls get easily offended at certain things and just say a MAN is being offensive when they go and say some sexist things themselves. Bitches, srsly.

Go fuck yourselves, goddamn.

I don't care if I seem ungrateful to the early feminist movements and achievements they've made. I know that without them, I'd probably be folding clothes all day and my ass in the kitchen, but really? I know that in the past the female population as always been dogged, suppressed, and dominated, but really? Wow.

It's the stupid girl who makes themselves weak. It's the stupid one who falls for the trap that ends up the victim.

Girls, stop being so fucking stupid.

If you don't want to be treated as mere eye candy, stop believing everything society tells you. If you don't want to be another hole a man can jam his cock into, sew that shit up, srsly.

You only think you're oppressed when you know you're weak.

I really don't like feminists. I hated writing about them in English class so much. Go shove a tampon up your vag and move on, goddamn.