☆IMPACT☆

2010-07-31T03:57:00.000-07:00

Beating but never touching.
Wouldn't that describe our hearts?

Connecting but never transferring.
Wouldn't that describe our relationship?

Data that transfers less that 0.1kb per hour.
A connection that disconnects constantly.
Two hearts that beat differently.

A treadmill that's at the speed of 10 miles per hour.
Yet we're only walking less than 1.

Fallen and scraped.

Always trying to reach out towards each other.
But fate makes it impossible to touch.

The hands of time.
You passed by me so many times.
But I can never hold onto you for more than a second.

I'm sorry

2010-07-31T03:37:00.000-07:00

It's complicated.

I don't even know what to feel or how to feel or what to say.

It's complicated.

But I don't want to be the bad guy.

Feelings of sadness, loss, jealousy, and regret. They'll pass, right? They always do.

So it doesn't matter to me.

Because somebody like me

If I keep telling myself

That somebody like me doesn't deserve love,

I'll believe and accept it.

Because it's silly.

Love rips man apart.

A normal person doesn't want their hands stained with blood.

If that is what you desire. If this is what you desire. Then I won't fight back.

You can have them.

But what is it that they desire?

It's complicated. It's silly.

But I don't want to be the one who ruins somebody's happiness.

I can't deny you of your feelings.

It's fine. I can let go. Many times. I've tasted it.

Did you know

you can survive longer without food than you can without water.

If you have neither, are you a goner?

I've lost myself to a delusion.

I want to kill myself

2010-07-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

I've been hating who I am lately. I try to distract myself but whenever there's nothing to do, the feeling gets worse. It feels like I'm running away. But I'd rather run away than be myself.

I don't like who I am, what I do, how I look, how I act. I want to kill everything and bury it.

It's horrible, it stinks, nasty, ugly. It isn't very cute or pretty to the eye.

If I kill the me I hate, maybe I would love myself.

Dear person,

2010-04-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

I know that you like me so I've been trying real hard not to be a douchebag and snap at you. But can you please just stop it? It's very burdensome.

I know you genuinely care but can you like...not? Or at least change the way you're doing it? Because right now, it feels like you only care because you want to get with me that badly.

You confessed to me and I never said anything. Just an, "Oh, okay" and laughed to get rid of the awkwardness but I took you seriously. However, just because I didn't give you a flat out no, that doesn't give you the okay to try and get with me with full force.

Honey, if I don't like you now, what makes you think I'm going to like you if you keep trying to impress me?

You're not impressing anybody and everybody else I've talked to about you think you're trying too hard that it's annoying.

You mope around because you know it's one sided so much to the point that everybody can see it. It's just so annoying. Do you know how burdensome that is on me?

I know that you care and as a friend, I appreciate it, but can you stop acting like that?

You say you don't have to put any effort into being friends with people you feel comfortable with, and you say that you feel comfortable with me, but then why does it feel like you're trying so hard?

You constantly worry whether or not a conversation with me is awkward. Seriously, wtf?

If you know it's one-sided, go build a goddamn bridge elsewhere and get the fuck over it and buy some mother fucking ice cream. FUCK.

It's just so burdensome. If you keep it up, I feel that one day I may snap at you. I don't want to, but the way you're acting isn't making me like you any more but less. So please stop.

This is my luck

2010-04-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

She likes him. He likes her. I liked him. He liked me. I still sorta like him. He still sorta likes me. FFFFFFFFUU.

Last night I talked to Tobi for the first time in a long while. We were on the topic of likes and dislikes with people cos we had to vent about certain people. Then we got on the topic of likes and Tobi mentioned to me that he and Jeri liked each other but they can't do anything cos of complications. I got sorta sad but I told myself, "Oh, it's okay. I said I was over love and relationships anyway."

I then later said how much it annoys me when people I happen to not like are usually the ones who have the balls to say that they like me and people I happen to do like only tell me that they liked me when when they're over it.

A while of shits and giggles pass by and then Tobi says, "I'm gonna sound like a douche for saying this but I liked you."

And so I was like, "Well, shit. The funny thing is, I liked you too."

So we FFFFFFFUU'd about it together and idek anymore.

He says he still sorta likes me and that out of all the people he knows online, he thinks about me the most. I d'awwwd and...srsly idek.

My luck. My timing. /facepalm

Issallgood.

I'm not even done

2010-02-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

I have built in rage right now.

There're these bitches I don't like.

My god, I don't even know. Piss me off so much.

"This is why we don't have guys on our team."

LOL SEXIST BITCH, MUCH?

Man, you guys are the reason why it's bad to have only girls on a team, srsly.

Girls are bitches already, you get a group of 'em together and that just fucking intensifies tenfold.

Also, so much more ego than I have. Oh man, I can't even describe it. No really, you thought I was cocky? Fuck man, the sad part is, they don't even know so they just keep talking.

Goddammit, really. I just want to smack them across the boobs or something. JESUS CHRIST.

Sometimes I wonder how and why I put up with people like this? My tolerance makes me want to cry sometimes.

Yeah, right after this post, I will take a deep breath and continue to associate myself with them. For what reason, I have no idea. Just gotta keep doing what I like doing even if the people I'm working with piss the shit out of me off.

~*ROOTS*~

I can't comment on your entry

2010-02-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

But amen to that, Fran. Girls are stupid.

You think maybe that's why they're oppressed and that glass ceiling exists. It's because girls are just so much more easy to manipulate. It's sad.

Also, I just want to say, I hate a lot of feminists. I don't care if I'm a girl myself, I hate it when girls get easily offended at certain things and just say a MAN is being offensive when they go and say some sexist things themselves. Bitches, srsly.

Go fuck yourselves, goddamn.

I don't care if I seem ungrateful to the early feminist movements and achievements they've made. I know that without them, I'd probably be folding clothes all day and my ass in the kitchen, but really? I know that in the past the female population as always been dogged, suppressed, and dominated, but really? Wow.

It's the stupid girl who makes themselves weak. It's the stupid one who falls for the trap that ends up the victim.

Girls, stop being so fucking stupid.

If you don't want to be treated as mere eye candy, stop believing everything society tells you. If you don't want to be another hole a man can jam his cock into, sew that shit up, srsly.

You only think you're oppressed when you know you're weak.

I really don't like feminists. I hated writing about them in English class so much. Go shove a tampon up your vag and move on, goddamn.

nastyyyyyyyyy

2010-02-22T21:20:00.000-08:00

nasty nasty nasty nasty nasty nasty nasty
ewwwwwwwwww

Don't you just kind of find it awkward when two people you knew in high school start dating each other? It's like, "oh, since when were you two close?"

and then when the two most unsuspecting people get together it's like

OH MY GOD!

It's really weird.

And sometimes very nasty when it's two people you don't really like LMAO

Oh, but good luck to the two of them, of course.

hmm

2010-02-18T12:03:00.000-08:00

Let's see here what I can address here at the moment.

First, I wanna say sorry that I said I didn't like your art. I actually don't remember ever saying that. I don't diss peoples' art unless somebody tells me to because it's the sad effect of bandwagon mentality. I have the logs for my Livestream, never said it there so if I said it on Tinychat, balls on me. And it's bad that I seriously don't remember ever saying it either. It's like that time I apparently wrote, "And you're a bitch" at the end of my essay in 10th grade. Don't remember ever writing it, don't even know how it got there, but my teacher was pretty upset with me. I remember how much it pissed me off that I couldn't recall anything. Still mind boggling, just like right now.

I'm actually not really the type of person who talks much in a conversation. I'm the person who sits there, listens, adds a few commentary here and there, and that's about it. I'm no real conversation starter. And when I'm online, I'm usually just idling. I think I just got into the habit of idling like I do on IRC. One hour I'm like, "FDSOFJSDOFJS RAEG" and then the next somebody's like, "Oh lol." Chatting in slow motion.

I probably don't act very nice to you because of just the way you act around me. idk, if somebody greets me like, "Hey faggot" I'd be all, "Oh hay, dicktip" and just base a friendship on being douches. Impressions.

But speaking honestly, I've told this to Mark and Mei, I've thought of you as a younger sibling. Really, as gay as it sounds. It's probably because I see a piece of myself in you. A sensitive kid who was always down and was always beating themselves up over every little thing, I saw my younger self in you. And maybe that's why a part of me didn't like you, because you remind me of a time in my life that I hated. But because of that same reason, I honestly wished the best for you. That you'd grow up, toughen up, get passed everything, and find peace within yourself. I never really show it though, but it's the truth. And maybe that's the reason why I stood up for you. Maybe that's the reason why I wanted to take you out and just hang. I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. I don't run on reason or logic.

There are times I think ~*IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE*~ As if it were just an accidental meeting between to completely opposite people that was never supposed to happen because it just doesn't work.

I can't say much right now though. The sun is up, I can't think around this time.

2010-02-18T11:34:00.000-08:00

genius is not the answer to all questions, it's the question to all answers.

money is power, only when nothing is free.

life is like your homie, it's 'holdin' you down'.

But who's blaming who? Never are we the ones.
We point the finger at the skies and the chosen 'son'.

The truth is ruthless. Toothless but fanged.
Two-faced bruteness. Roofless in the rain.
The crude taste of sane. A suitcase full of pain.
The truth is truthless. A moot case of blame.

Turning into old folk, chasing after rose gold.
What they don't know is that it belongs to a fool.
Choosing wants over needs, singing songs of a mule.
Carrying their burdens when you barely know the person,
and that is the difference between a pharaoh and a servant.

People say Epik High is overrated, that they're nothing special, their "deep lyrics" shouldn't be praised as much as they are. But when I listen to their songs and look at Tablo's lyrics, I can't help but like the way that man thinks. I want his logic.

LMAO

2010-02-18T11:07:00.000-08:00

I like how when I'm in a new group of people and they crack gay jokes like, "It's okay, we're all bi somewhere inside, right?"

And then I go, "lol I'm lesbian" they'd just laugh and then be all, "WAIT WUT"

so hilarious.

Especially when a guy would be like, "Aw fuck. I thought you were pretty cute too." LMAO I'm a cock block.

But it's nice that people don't treat me any differently <:

It's like, "Oh, okay. You're not any different to the person I was talking to a second ago anyway." Fun stuff.

RAEG

2010-02-18T10:17:00.000-08:00

YOU FUCKER.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? NO FUCKING MULTIPLE POSTING. FUCK.

EDIT YOUR GODDAMN POST IF YOU WANNA ADD MORE. THE EDIT BUTTON IS PRETTY BIG, Y'KNOW? HOW CAN YOU NOT MISS THAT SHIT?

HOLY SHIT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO WARN YOU? LIKE SRSLY? IT'S COME TO THE POINT WHERE WHENEVER I SEE THAT KID POST, I KNOW THERE'S PROBABLY A DOUBLE OR TRIPLE POST LIKE FFFFFFUUU

CAN I BAN 'EM ALREADY? RAAAAAAAAAEEEEEGGGGG

sibling love

2010-02-18T02:55:00.001-08:00

I go on about my brother a lot, but I really love that kid.

Sometimes I think he's probably the closest friend I've got nowadays. Best friend status, y'know?

It's a bit sad, but true.

We went through everything together. As emo as it sounds, we experienced the pain and tears together. We went through all those rough times. We know each other best.

We've had our fights and squabbles. But even when we've got a gun pointed at each others' heads one second, we calm down and just forgive each other the next. We know how each other ticks.

My brother can be a real dickhead. He'll yell at everybody, push them around, and act like a total douche. I'm no different though.

It's funny how the two of us act so arrogantly when the two of us know we're just weak little kids at heart. Sentimental matters like when it comes to family easily make us cry.

We're both bitter siblings. Bitter about everything.

My brother says he respects me. I'm glad that I can be an older sister that he can come to respect.

Even though I'm useless in practically every category, he says he respects my maturity. But I think he's mistaking my sense of maturity for just me thinking and rambling on too much about nothing like right now.

I like my brother, he's like my other half. If the decision involved the two of us, I can barely do anything without him by me and vice versa.

At times I feel bad. He probably doesn't feel the same way. He's probably annoyed. He pushes me away sometimes. It's probably puberty.

But I'm sure deep down he at least cares a little bit. If he's willing to be as open as he is with me and nobody else, I'm sure part of him feels the same way.

He means a lot to me.

Twitter friends

2010-02-18T02:45:00.001-08:00

You know they exist and that you have them when you only talk to them through Twitter LMAO

It's so sad.

I really like CapTAEn/Pam. She's a bag of lulz and our interests are so goddamn similar. I love it.

Makes me sad that we just keep it to Twitter though LOL

One day, I will get the nerve to ask for her MSN or sumshit.

One day, I will ask her to coem to pron wif me.

2010-02-18T02:42:00.000-08:00

Also, this was pretty much tonight's theme song. GG, boss.

You make me pissed off!

goddamn

2010-02-18T02:22:00.001-08:00

It was supposed to be an informal meeting just to meet the newcomers but shit hit the fan LOL

Don't know which side to agree with here. But it was between personal life and business.

Ultimately, if you're a part of the group, it's strictly business, y'know?

If you can't meet deadlines or pick up your slack regardless of whether you have the means to or not, then you should be deemed as not fit for the team. I mean, it shouldn't be that hard of a concept to grasp, right?

but idk, and then stuff just gets personal. Lots of yelling and arguing. Everything just got really awkward afterward LOL;;

Oh but I'm excited for the group I'm in ahah

It's gonna be very interesting how this all goes down. If this company actually does go somewhere, I'll be pretty damn impressed.

Although I'm kinda sad since I'm the weakest link in my group like GDI LOL

Aaaaahhhhh

so cool.

The first group is comprised of all the best vocalist so they'll be focusing on ballads. The 2nd group is with all the rappers. My group, the 3rd group, I have no idea LOL It's just all the new people he took in. I wonder what our genre will be~?

because I'm pretty sure you still look at this

2010-02-16T11:05:00.000-08:00

Am I a dick? Sure. Do I care? No.

Because I've been called lots of things before and I've learned that if somebody calls you something, it's true in one way or another and you either gotta accept or if you don't like it, change it.

And as for me, I simply just don't care so I'll accept what you call me with open arms. Granted, I'll laugh about it whether it be bad or not, that's just me. "Tell me something I don't know," is what I would say.

Am I an insensitive fucker? Yeah. I don't care.

I like how you think I don't look at your stuff just because I don't watch you.

I like how you think I don't care.

And I DON'T care.

I don't care about myself but I do care about others including you.

Should I say sorry that I revealed your name? Should I say sorry that I can't understand why you're so sensitive about it?

Girl, I hate my name too yet you went and said it. You went and said my FULL NAME. So, thanks for that.

And so I'm sorry you're bitter over it while I just brush it off.

I'd also like to address:

I don't hate your art. Just because I don't watch you doesn't mean I actually take the effort to check your actual page. I'm actually more jealous of your art because you're tenfold better than I was at your age. I have respect. You tell me not to make assumptions yet here you go.

Let me tell you something, just because I'm "popular" and seem to have lots of friends doesn't mean I don't care. Man, after Sky said you left, I went to Mark just to say, "Bro, I made Booky mad. What do I do?"

We're not close. We've known each other for years but we're not close. We're completely opposite. We think differently and it pisses me off we can't connect. It's a nice effort. I do like talking to you. It's just a bit sad that my other friends can be more chummy with you than I can. Maybe our wavelengths are just really off? But whatever. I remember all that time I stood up for you even though you felt you were at fault. I remember how much of a headache that was. I think our friendship was a real headache, don't you think? But I'm probably a weirdo for actually enjoying it. You probably weren't though. We're too different.

I'm sorry I can't act any nicer to you. But when I think about it, I'm not a very nice person or one to show much of it. It's just who I am, very brash. But it's not like there haven't been times you've acted like a dick toward me either. Guess that's just the way things go.

I'm glad you had a nice Chinese New Years/Valentines Day until I came along too cos same boat, man. When you said, "Ew Jacket" when I came in, it ruined mood so much that I was tempted to just dip. I mean, how many times have you done it? It was actually rather irritating. Even if you did just mean it as a joke. But I'm not saying I don't do the same shit to you either.

I do feel bad though, for being a bad friend. I'm a bad friend to everybody I know and I feel bad that I'm not flexible enough to change it. I don't care what others think about me or if I'm just messing up myself. I don't care about a lot of things. Why do you think my life is so fucked up at the moment? But when my faults hurt a friend, I feel bad. You've gotten in trouble whenever we tried hanging out and I feel bad for trying and for you to have to go through the effort for nothing.

So I'm sorry for that. And if you take peoples' advice and just ditch me, I'm glad because I don't want people to get associated with me any more than just light chatting. Things get complicated if there's anything deeper besides LOLing, you should know that.

Oh, just give it a day or two. It'll blow off. Will it really? But maybe I just shouldn't care whether we stay friends or not.

Okay, I'm gonna stop rambling because I don't know what I'm talking about or gonna go with this anymore.

cool story, bro. have a nice life.

TL;DR: Here, have a BSB song that could probably sum this shit up.

2010-02-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry but I don't recall ever having a commitment to you.

But if you would like to try me again, I could do worse.

eckk

2010-02-12T22:03:00.000-08:00

I know I've said this before, but I just don't get what people see in me. Or how they can come to like me for that matter.

I feel bad when somebody confesses to me and I can't really say anything but in my head I'm just like, "Oh, really?"

I guess it's because not a lot of people have actually confessed to me before.

I'd always just hear about their crushes on me long after the feeling died and it just kinda confuses me.

And it's like, it seems like everybody around me would just like my best friend instead, y'know? So it's just kinda weird when it's me.

but idk, I just find it strange how somebody can like me nowadays.

I barely talk to anybody one on one these days. I barely hang out with my irl friends too.

I pretty much distanced myself from everybody so it's like, how can you like somebody you don't even know or barely talk to?

I still feel bad though. Probably because I don't like anybody myself. I mean, I'm not attracted to anybody or find potential in any of my friends. Like srsly too. Just nobody out there.

I guess I just feel bad because it's not like I can say, "Oh, sorry. I like somebody else." And instead all I can pretty much say is, "Sorry, I don't like you or anybody else for that matter."

I think my heart has grown hard. I can't seem to get myself to open up anymore.

Ahh. I'm sorry.

2009-12-30T04:08:00.000-08:00

IT'S ALMOST NEW YEARS EVE.

I'M EXCITED.

PEOPLE ARE SCARED AND NERVOUS FOR 2010.

BUT I'M HAPPY FOR THE NEW YEAR.

SO FANTASTIC ELASTIC.

RING DING DONG.

IS ANYBODY ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING?

I WANT TO HANG OUT AND STUFF.

I'M TOO LAZY TO TURN OFF THE CAPSLOCK RIGHT NOW.

SO THIS POST WILL JUST BE AN OBNOXIOUS CAPS POST WITH NO REAL MEANING.

SPAM SPAM SPAM.

IT'S 4:11AM.

I LOVE HOW I SCREWED OVER MY SLEEPING PATTERNS.

IT'S AWESOME HOW NOBODY'S ON WHEN I'M AWAKE.

RAAAHH CAPSLOCK

oops

2009-12-27T02:13:00.000-08:00

I hate fickle people.

You can call me fickle too, I don't care.

It's not like I'm saying I don't hate myself.

But let me tell you something, I'm not as bad as you are.

Do you even know what betrayal is?

It's when you step all over somebody, disregard them, and throw them out.

Since when did I ever throw you out? Tell me.

Did I ever throw you away?

new years

2009-12-26T00:51:00.000-08:00

I don't celebrate Christmas so it's a whatever day for me.

I really love New Years though.

It's so exciting.

homoing

2009-12-23T02:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, I promised Sesh I'd do this because she's gay and I'm a fag and we both ship kpop pairings for personal reasons lmao So yeah, feel free to ignore this and/or laugh at my fail and be disappoint lulI ship TaeNy, YulSic, and KryBer like an obsessed mofo.

Their relationship/bond/interactions make me squee like a disgusting fangirl (good thing I know I'm now the only one lmao). From interviews, shows, and selcas, fans learn about their personalities and use them in fanfics in order to make them in character. I think it's mostly from fanfics that start making me love the pairing more. And all the fanfics with that specific pairing always have many key points in common. And these common traits are things that make me feel personally connected to the dynamics of the pairing. It's rather sad to compare your own relationships with a fan pairing but hey, shit happens and I know I'm not the only one rofl

Anyway, onto my more specific reasons.

TaeNy: Taeyeon + Tiffany SNSD

Okay, how could you say that this shit isn't fucking adorable? These two were my first kpop pairing so they has a speshul place in my heart~ They were roommates back in their trainee days so they have a close bond. Back when they debuted, they called each other "wife." Taeyeon always took care of Tiffany and Tiffany was always there for Taeyeon. Since their homes were far away from their dorm, they would spend the holidays together when all the other members went back to visit family. From fan accounts, people said that when they visited Taeyeon's dad's glasses shop, her parents would always talk about Tifffany and how close she is with the family. In fanfics, with Taeyeon being the leader that she is, she's usually the hardworking one who's stressed out and bottles things in (she does this in reality too) while bubbly Tiffany is there to cheer her up. It's this aspect that reminds me of an ex of mine. She was always hardworking and I was always there waiting all night for her just to smile and say goodnight.

YulSic: Yuri + Jessica SNSD

Best friends. Husband and wife. Ice princess and prince. Srsly, these two are awesome. They were actually under the radar in the beginning until it was revealed that they're actually pretty close. When Jessica was under the heat for rumors about her dating SuJu/DBSK members, it affected her a lot. And Yuri was there comforting her the whole time. They know how to serve fanservice like no other lmao In fics, Jessica is always the cold one and Yuri's always the one that tries to melt her ice. Yuri treats Jessica like a princess and she's the prince. Yuri's always the fool in love, constantly trying to chase Jessica. And this is where things start to remind me of myself and a certain person. I put her on a pedestal yet she doesn't even know. I treat her like a princess yet she always acts cold and indifferent. I'm the idiot that always tries to make her smile and it warms my heart when she does.

KryBer: Krystal + Amber f(x)

I fucking love how they're exactly like YulSic. But with Jessica and Krystal being sisters, maybe it's not so surprising lol When they go out, they get mistaken as a couple. They refer to each other as "husband" and "baby" just like YulSic. They know how to lay on the fanservice like YulSic too. They're almost like opposites too. They hit each other when they're messing around and I don't know why I find that effing cute. Amber's still new to Korean so she always turns to Krystal for help. Whenever Amber has to talk, they're always constantly eying each other. Amber depends on Krystal quite a bit and Krystal pretty much has Amber on a leash because of that. They remind me of a friend and I. I'd always hang around her and people thought we were dating. We were husband and wife as well. Our friendship was physically violent in a good way too. And she even treated me like a dog. We're exact opposites but that's why we attract to each other. Being with her would always make my day.

So yeah, I'm gay rofl

I don't know who you are anymore

2009-12-23T00:35:00.000-08:00

I hate how fickle people can be.

It pisses me off.

It disgusts me.

I hate how people change when they're around other people.

It disappoints me.

What happened to the friend I knew?

Why do you act differently when others are around?

Your whole attitude has changed for the worst.

I like this song

2009-12-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

2009-12-14T00:11:00.000-08:00

A part of me wants to hold your hand and hold you close.

A part of me wants to tell you how much I love you.

A part of me wants to kiss you.

A part of me wants to be with you.

But who are you?

A part of me wants love.

Just a small part.

But I don't have a particular person.

It's just a small part, really.

Because I know I'm better without this feeling of longing.

They say it's a beautiful thing. Love.

But I find it quite bothersome.

Am I cold and bitter?

Probably.

But I know I can find happiness elsewhere.

It's not here so I don't need it. It's not useful to me.

It's not that I don't have a heart.

It's just that my heart lies elsewhere.

Eh?

2009-12-13T00:54:00.000-08:00

Bookfag said I should update my blog but I don't even know what to update with.

My nails are getting long and it's starting to get more difficult to type.

A bit tempted to cut them since I kinda wanna strum on the old guitar again but eh.

I hate this time of year because it starts raining and I hate the rain and getting wet.

I think that proves I'm getting old and disgruntled.

I'm an old person who doesn't like change.

Ah, I kinda miss those kids in high school.

My head kind of hurts. There's this pain in the back of my eye and it feels funny.

My room is messy but what's new?

My feet are cold but I'm too lazy to put on socks.

Who wears socks inside? I don't get it.

My brother and I ate the last package of steak. I'm sad.

Everybody's stressing out about finals.

It's almost Christmas, guys.

Family doesn't celebrate it though.

I can't wait until New Years. It's my favorite time of the year.

3 2 1 happy new years!

I'll jump really high again so I can grow taller. It worked last year, I think I actually grew a bit since graduation.

I want to watch Princess and the Frog.

Oh my new years resolution

I will take care of my physical appearance more.

Just because I'm a hermit doesn't mean I should let myself go.

Gorge Lopez show is the best.

That toy Manny's repair shop is so racist too.

They should make Ping's sweat shop next.

I really don't know what this post is supposed to be about.

Hope you enjoy it, Booky.

ouch

2009-11-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

Lyrics from various songs that tug on my heart strings right now.

I'm going crazy while waiting for you
Every single day feels like a year
I'm waiting

It feels like you can come back any second
It feels like I could just turn around and see you

My head feels so complicated, it could explode
I'm waiting and waiting but no word from you
There's no way you could leave because of me
It's so hard for me right now, so hard for me

It's been so long
That I haven't seen your face
I'm tryna be strong
But the strength I have is washing away

I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Until I get you back I'm gonna try
Yes I miss you much
You are the apple of my eye
Girl I miss you much

How long have we been separated already?
One minute or one second, it feels like a year
I want you back

You are so precious
I do love you
I'm so sorry I didn't appreciate you

You would stay all night by my side

Tofu, please get better :<

crying again

2009-11-04T13:33:00.001-08:00

Tofu's staying another night at the vet because she had another episode of vomiting and bloody diarrhea.

Yesterday, the first time they called they said she wasn't doing well. Her white blood cell count was low and her body wasn't reacting to the meds. She had a high chance of not making it. Then they called a few hours later saying she was doing better and that she might be discharged today if nothing happened over night.

But yeah, something happened over night and now I'm just really worried again. I really hope Tofu makes it through. I don't want to lose her.

I'm going to kill her

2009-11-03T09:54:00.001-08:00

Seriously, I'm going to punch my little sister in the face when she gets back home from school.

She left her candy out on the floor and Tofu ate it. What makes it worse is that it was chocolate and she's been vomiting for the past two days and now she just looks and sounds horrible. She's also been crapping out blood too .__.

We just took her to the vet. She's spending the night over there while they run a few x-rays and tests as they help her recover. I really hope they don't find anything wrong with her and that she'll be able to come back home healthy again.

I got kinda emotional during the car ride over there orz I mean, I got Tofu at a time when I was horribly depressed and she was pretty much that new hope given to me. The thought of losing her would really devastate me.

Get better, Tofu!!!

HNRGH

2009-10-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

Man, sometimes I don't even know why I'm working out and practicing so hard for auditions. I mean, sure, I'd really like to get in but what are my chances? I know I said I've got time to kill but really? Am I that bored? .__.

Just taking a break right now from dancing for about 3 hours. Gonna do some more vocal work after I wash up.

I don't know why I'm working so hard all of a sudden just for this. I even started to take care of my face more too wtf

But I guess that just shows that I'm a hard worker when I want to be.

Such a shame all this work ethic never really came into play during high school.

Oh well.

dreams

2009-10-29T19:35:00.000-07:00

I've been practicing real hard lately for SM auditions in about two weeks from now. I'm gonna be auditioning with Billy and Shun. Maybe Leo and Charlene too if they ever send in their applications in on time D8<

But gaaaah! I'm really excited. Even though I really doubt I have what it takes to get picked, it's still fun thinking about what'll happen if I do get in. You can say fantasizing about getting famous is setting my hopes up too high and setting myself up for disappointment, but I already have the mentality that I don't have much of a chance in the first place LOL And besides, if I don't get in this year, there's always next year so that I have more time to practice and prepare something good. And I'll just keep trying for the hell of it until I get old like 21 or sumshits lulz I mean really, there's nothing to lose when you audition anyway :D

Seriously, it would be so freaking awesome if any of us got in. I'd be all, "HEY I KNOW THAT GUY! WE'RE BFFS!" and totally brag about knowing them AHAHA And if I got in myself, it'd be crazy surreal. Like no joke.

I mean, crap dude. I would be so excited. Especially after all that training and then finally debuting. I'd quickly find an international fan forum for my group and totally join and lurk like no tomorrow. I'll find out which pairings I'm in are popular and deliever so much fanservice to those crazy ass shippers. And if I ever had the time, write fanfics and draw fanart ROFL omg shit would be so hilarious.

And then I'd be besties with all those other Korean idols I adore iofdojifdoijfefeo MAN. I'd be like a fangirl dream come true ROFL

But jokes aside, I'd really like to get in just for the experience. I hear it's really tough training to debut. People always wanna pack up and go home because it's too tough. Yoona cried and complained. Taeyeon ran away once. Jay bitched about it on Myspace too. Not to mention trying to adjust to a different culture where you don't know the language. But I'm sure that through the hardships of training and practicing hard 24/7, it's all worth it in the end. I mean, aside from the fame, the experience seems life changing.

A life changing experience that doesn't come everyday or offered to just anybody. If I actually get into SM, I'll be very grateful and take up that chance in an instant. My mom thinks that I can't get in. And my brother thinks I'm just trying to take the easy way out for success. I dunno, I could careless about what my brother thinks, but I really wish my mom had a bit more faith in me.

Sure, I'm not amazing at singing or dancing. Nor am I the prettiest gem in the jewelry box. I don't even know if I have much charisma or personality either. But I dunno, I wish my mom would at least just say, "Good luck!" instead of, "Just give up" or "It's impossible." I know that she's probably just thinking the best for my future. I mean, she really wants me to go to college, but it's not like next semester is starting up any time soon so I seriously have more than enough time to kill. And I mean, auditions are just one day. And if I get a call back for a private audition, which isn't very likely anyway, it's another day. And well, if I get in for real, then I'm set. It's not like I'm gonna be abandoning college. Let's put it this way, a chance at stardom is only once, college will always be there, right?

Part of me really wants to pass auditions just so I can prove to my mom that I can do it. But of course, passing auditions isn't even half of the battle. There's a year or two (or more) of training and then your actual debut. If I get the chance to do that, I will definitely work harder than I've ever had just to show to my mom that I can work hard. She said that she's already given up on me, but I haven't given up yet. I'm still trying hard to make her proud of me one day. And I'm only sorry that the paths I go about to do that aren't to her liking.

Being the next Korean pop idol sensation or an animator haha I'm sorry that my dreams don't appeal to you, mom. If only you knew how hard I work just for your recognition. But it's okay, I'll show you that I'm better off doing something that I enjoy doing.

pffffft stfu, Jacket

2009-10-10T02:03:00.000-07:00

Uhhh uhhh. Yet another typical, "BAAAWW MY ART SUX" post. Sorry but I just have to whinebitchmoancomplain for a sec.

Like idk, I know that I'm not the worst artist ever nor am I the best. And I know that artists will never be at their personal best because there's practically no such thing because an artist will always keep learning new things, etc etc.

But man, whenever I see others' works. There are times when I feel inspired and times where I feel really discouraged. I know bitching and moaning won't make me any better but idk...

There are friends who I haven't talked to in awhile and when I see their recent art I'm like, "WOW. They've improved shittons since the last time I've talked to them." And what about me? I really don't know.

I know that most artists are unable to see their own growth but really, I'm just envious when others just suddenly get amazing and crazy talented in such a short amount of time. It amazes me.

I know I can't go godsend overnight but there are times like now where I wish I could. But that's asking for too much.

idk whenever I look at my stuff, it just looks...so constricted. Like there isn't much to it or there isn't any emotion. I think that's the big part of what I'm missing. There just isn't much feeling.

But I guess I should be happy I did improve since last year. My work was really fug back then and I hope that I will continue to get better.

Though, I do feel my stuff has been degenerating since I've been drawing practically everyday. Maybe it's time to take a break or something orz

fjiosdfjsoid AUDITIONS

2009-10-01T20:29:00.000-07:00

Sun Nov 15th is SM auditions in LA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I want to go and try out.

But I need a ride.

And moral support/somebody to audition with me rofl

If not this time around, I'll mosdef try out next year if they have auditions ; 3;

I need to start practicing sum dance moves and figure out what to sing too D:

Oh, and somehow get naturally pretty LOL

Best day ever of my internet life

2009-09-21T19:33:00.000-07:00

Amber came online on Affxtion today. My god, everybody was spazzing out on the sbox. She didn't say much, but from her replies, that girl is so chill. I think I love her even more now hahaha

Did I mention she indirectly replied to me? Sooo happy. It's like my fangirl dreams have come true. But they haven't yet until I actually meet them in person. Although, if I were to die right now, I wouldn't entirely mind rofl

What makes me lol is the fact that she was lurking the pairing forum the longest too AHAHA She was in the AmKrys/KryBer thread for like 10 minutes. That's enough to friggin' skim through the whole thread rofl

AMKRYS IS REAL GUYS. AMBER SAID IT HERSELF<333 LOL

Oh but knowing the fact that she was on that thread, I felt really embarrassed and ashamed since I friggin' spammed that thread up with my fanart ROFL God, I was like /wrist for the longest time because of that. EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED.

Maybe that's why she was in there for awhile. Probably staring at my fanart and going, "Man, this person is a freak." /crysob

But hey, fun stuff. I hope this means I get to see more moments on camera between Amber and Krystal LOL My OTP<333333

I officially love f(x) and Affxtion with all my heart now rofl

I seriously can't wait until the other girls start logging in too :B

LOL

2009-09-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

I have the most supportive friends ever. I took some pics with my bro's webcam with one of my wigs on just for fun. Friend's response?

"Jacket, just join a boyband. It'd be 100 times easier for you than competing with pretty girls for a girl group."

Most helpful advice ever, amirite? LOL

People say I look like Tablo in the first pic D: I don't entirely see it but they say it's the way I smile. Similar goofy looking smile? lol

And I look like Yusuke Yamamoto at certain angles too ROFL

Any more celebrities that I can add onto my list of comparisons? rofl Some of the celebs my friends toss at me I really don't get though haha Oh well I guess I should just take those as compliments D:

It was kinda funny when I was messing around in my brother's room too. My grandma came in while I was on his computer while he was at school and she was all, "Oh, I didn't know you came home already." LOL

I'M NOT A FUCKING BOY BUT APPARENTLY I LOOK BETTER THAN A HANDFUL D:

Boyish good looks? I guess it's better than nothing, right? But idk if it's a good thing that I look more like a boy than a girl LOL orz;;;

GIRLS R GROCE

2009-09-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

lol sorry more raging.

But I am just so...irritated at girls on the internet right now LOL

I know I'm not one to talk since lol I'm a girl too but I'm talking about those kinds of girls on the internet.

You know the kinds that are really obvious that they're girls by the way they type, right? All teehee's and ^__^ everywhere. IT'S SO DISGUSTING.

It's even worse when they're trying to flirt with somebody on the internet. I just want to gauge my eyes out at the sight of it. OH MY GOD.

So there's this girl who's trying to flirt with my guy friend. Cos he's nice, he can't tell her off but he finds her annoying too. Whenever I see her comments on his profile, I want to punch her in the face and yell at her. It's not that I'm jealous or being projective. But if you just saw the way she types...AUGH

She Literally Types Like This And What Makes It Even Worse Is That She Types Huge Walls Of Text Like This With No Punctuations Whatsoever She Likes Throwing In The Usual Kawaii Desu Teehees And Giggles And ^___^ At The End Too I Mean Seeing A Huge Brick Of Text Typed Like This Should Be Enough To Piss Anybody Off Right Teehee Giggle Giggle By The Way Im Trying To Flirt With You ^_~ <3

OH MY GOD. How is this girl my age? I am pretty ashamed. It's...almost...as...bad...as...Faust's...ellipsis...abuse...that, and, his, comma, abuse, too, and, he, was, like, what? 22? 23? I don't even know.

GODDAMMIT. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TYPE LIKE THAT? WHY!?

I really don't get it. Is that the new thing now? Typing like an idiot? I'm no English major or hardcore Grammar Nazi or anything, but shit. Can you not do that, please? I like to know that the people I'm conversing with on the internet are intelligent enough to know basic English.

oh wow, Jacket

2009-09-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

MAN. I keep looking at my previous post and I'm like, "HOLY SHIT I HAVEN'T TYPED UP SOMETHING SO HUGE SINCE PIIFAG LOL"

So after feeling good after making that post, I went and searched through the rage and rant tags on my blog.

Man, I do bitch a lot AHAHAHA

I'm still loving my rage post about Faust. He's not as bad anymore but goddamn. I REMEMBER HE PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH. JUST SO MUCH.

In fact, a lot of people on FagTown pissed me off.

Like LilEmz. I FUCKING HATED HER. Why? Because every time she would post, I WOULD HAVE TO SEE HER DEER IN HEADLIGHTS FACE IN HER SIG. It got SO ANNOYING.

I'm going to be a douchebag and say that I really HATE it when people post their pics in their signature. It's like, "HEY. I know you're cool and all. BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE EVERY TIME YOU POST." Especially when I don't find them attractive to look at 8(

Like really, why the hell are you posting your pic in your sig? It's like you're trying to fish for compliments and whore yourself out. That and it's like you're trying to hook up with somebody on the forum. idk I, personally, DNW obvious flirty children in my forum kthnxbai gb2/gaia/

Oh. I guess this is another post to go in my many rage entries rofl

lol just stop plz

2009-09-16T22:01:00.000-07:00

Whoever's informing Soy about the stuff I say needs to stop taking me so seriously LOL I still follow her twitter and I know some of her tweets are directed at me. And what happens when I know that? Somebody ratted me out and I get more pissy than I was beforehand. In the words of cool kid Cooper and his comrade Dominic to best friend Rocio, "SNITCH." rofl

But in all seriousness, I know I got myself under the fire for speaking my mind. I have the logs too so I'm not gonna deny what I said. But really? Some of the things I said weren't even meant to be taken seriously. FOR CHRISTSAKE I TYPED IN CAPS. WHO SHOULD REALLY BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WHEN TYPING IN CAPS? KANYE, RIGHT? LOLOL Here, I'll even copypasta what I said and bold my offending statements.

[09:07] oh
[09:08] I think Soy's mad that I'm not working on that sticker design for SSF's f(x) project
[09:08] duuurppp
[09:08] Hell
[09:08] I would be.
[09:08] * Jenson gets pissy at Jacket.
[09:08] 8((((
[09:08] hahaha
[09:08] <3> its oaky
[09:08] lols
[09:08] If Soy doesn't want you
[09:08] I'll take you <3
[09:08] SHE'S GOT ANOTHER GD THAT CAN DRAW
[09:08] I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE'S GOTTA BE ALL UP ON MY GRILL
[09:09] LOL
[09:09] lols
[09:09] Because you draw betetr
[09:09] lulz

And so Soy tweeted this a couple of hours afterward:

"Some people seriously think too much of themselves. If you think I'm after you, then you haven't seen the real damage yet."

Should be obvious that it was directed at me, amrite? lolol

But to explain myself on why I thought she was upset at me,

A couple of days ago she messages me on Skype about what I said on afx's staff forum cos we had a little spy inform her about our RAEG fest in there. So yeah, I got my ass grilled after that. She then posts on the sticker design topic in the staff forum asking if there's any progress being made. Coincidentally, she posted that like a day after Jordan and I finished the cover for afx's message book.

So obviously, my thinking process at 9am without any sleep was: getting chewed out a few days beforehand + drawing for another project and finishing it first + Soy asking if there's any progress on the sticker design = Soy's probably upset with me even more than she was before.

Am I jumping the gun? Yeah, sure. But seems logical to me, yeah?

As for the second part in caps. Really, shit was just for the lulz. It shouldn't be taken seriously D: Y SO SRS? AMIRITE?

I also have to add, if you think I'm being disrespectful by talking about my "superiors" behind their backs, I am sad to inform you that I do it all the time. Guys, remember Piifag? Yeah, it's nothing new. Just me trying to find things to rage about and vent out stress. Oh yeah, and Billy drama too LOL

Just because I'm on a RAGE fest and mention you doesn't mean I'm literally angry at you. Little actions will cause me to go off on just about any and everything. Let me vent and then afterward I'll be all better LOL My rage shouldn't even be taken seriously either since I literally bitch about anything I can find. And I can practically find anything to bitch about anybody. I'd like to thank best friend, Az, for turning me into a RAGE machine just like her<3

But hell, this should just be proof that I am a typical girl. Because typical girls whinebitchmoancomplain a lot. Whether you take it seriously or not is up to you but most of the time, I don't mean a majority of the things I rant about. It's just impulsive feelings at that moment, y'know?

And call me a coward for not being upfront about it. I don't care. But I'm not the kind of person who will speak about my dissatisfaction unless I'm seriously upset about it. Don't worry about whatever I say because I'll laugh and forget about it the next minute. Only worry when I actually bring up a problem to you because that's when I'm serious.

There are times where I wonder why I take part in these forum projects when I'm not getting paid.

It sounds selfish to say. But really? I put these projects on top priority when I keep pushing back the commissions I need to be working on, the work that I should be doing because I'm getting paid to do it. It's probably just bad prioritizing on my part, but seriously.

Why am I doing so much work and putting in so much effort for something I'm not getting paid to do?

If I do the calculations based on my commission prices, I should've been paid...shit, well over $500 for drawing Adventures in Soshiland wtf And then for the cover for afx's message book... at least $175. If I were to draw the sticker design for afx too, it'd be $75. SSF's sticker, I don't even know since Taka and I haven't decided what to do yet. And heck, even Az and Star think my prices are way too low :/

I SHOULD be getting paid but you want to know why I'm still doing this?

It's out of the kindness of my heart. It's because I want to. So please don't think I don't want to be apart of anybody's staff or forum. I would've personally quit if I didn't want to. Hell, I wouldn't even have agreed to work on a project to begin with if I didn't want to. So I'd rather you not say that I'm selfish and full of myself.

And know this, I am human. I judge. But my judgments are never solid, concrete, or final.

...and why do I feel a bit like Jay right now? LOL 8( I say something and get grilled for it. bbl guise, getting deported back to 4chan.

Ah...remembering that whole drama that went down with Piifag reminds me that I need to work on Vios Terra.

STAR! AZ! REI! RAI! 17TH! OH AND SUN TOO! I MISS YOU GUYS! I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH KPOP /crysob When we get Vios Terra up, let's ignore our work and vegetate on RO again like what awesome admins do<3

Goddamn ;|

I DUNNO LOL ¯\(°_o)/¯

2009-09-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Ever since I discovered BoA when I was around 10 or 11, I've fantasized about being an idol and performing just like her. But that dream kinda died out when I decided to focus on art.

I still sing and dance around for fun. Some times I think maybe it wouldn't hurt to actually try out and audition.

My insecurities hold me back though. As much as I would like to, in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "I'm not even that good nor do I even look pretty enough."

But idk. My friend says charisma goes a long way for auditions and if I've got it, I at least stand some chance.

And durrr. SM and JYP say that they don't judge on race for auditions, but it's pretty much a given that they're just looking for east Asian kids LOL GIVE US SOUTHEAST ASIAN KIDS A CHANCE PLZ. And idk if Nickhun counts cos he's Thai and even though they're southeast, those kids still look more azn than other southeast kids lolol

I kinda just wanna walk into auditions and be all, "OH HAY SM/JYP. I HEAR U LIEK AZNS. FLIPS COUNT TOO, RIGHT? LOLOL" If JYP has a Thai kid, a Flip can happen too, right?

Haha. One can only dream. I kinda wish SM/JYP would just decide to make an international group with a few Flips and ship them to PI after they gain popularity in Korea. It would give me some hope LOL

But bah, why the hell am I talking like I have a chance? LOL All of their idols are just too pretty. I'm out of my league Dx Even if they get prettied up when they become trainees, it's always a plus to be just naturally pretty beforehand, right?

IDK. IS THIS FACE IDOL MATERIAL?

ALONG WITH THIS VOICE?

I DUNNO LOL ¯\(°_o)/¯

Looks and talent...I don't have a lot of that lulz But I'm still thinking about giving it a shot. Jeff said that even though he didn't make auditions, it was still a fun experience. Gotta work on looking confident and charismatic to make up for what I lack in haha

SJ-M!

2009-09-14T04:49:00.000-07:00

FDSJIFDOIJFSDOIJFDSOIJDFSOI

SJ-M!

BRB INCOHERENT

HENRY DANCE SOLO OJISDFIOJFDSIA

SIWON LOLOLOL

~~AMBER~~DONGHAE JOIDSOIFJASOFJLOLOLOL

AAAHHH

AND SICA. HOLY CRAP. SHE'S SO GORJESS. SERIOUSLY. JESSICA'S GODDAMN PRETTY IN THIS.

AND THE DANCE LOOKS HELLA ADDICTIVE TOO. I WANNA LEARN IT.

OH MY SUPER GIRL~

HEY MEL, I KNOW YOU LIKE SUJU. I HAVE AN IDEA HOW TO GET OURSELVES TO KOREA. LET'S AUDITION FOR SM TOGETHER AND IF WE'RE GOOD ENOUGH, WE'LL GET SHIPPED OVER THERE AND WE CAN BE ACTUAL BUDDIES WITH SMTOWN ARTISTS. GOOD PLAN, RIGHT?

/capslock

SRSLY WHAT IS THIS?

2009-09-13T21:57:00.000-07:00

SRSLY SM? WHAT THE HECK?

WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE AMBER LOOK SO HANDSOME?

FIRST YOU THROW HEECHUL AT ME. AND THEN YOU THROW SHINEE AT ME. YOU GIVE ME THE MOST FEMININE GUYS AND LABEL THEM AS WHAT IS ATTRACTIVE AND THEN YOU DO THIS. YOU GIVE ME AMBER AND NOW I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE.

FEMININE GUYS AND MASCULINE GIRLS? IS THIS THE NEW TREND YOU'RE TRYING TO SET SM? COS GODDAMN, IT'S WORKING.

La cha ta with me~

2009-09-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

My current kpop obsession: f(x), SM's newest girl group.

I really love 'em! They're so young and pretty and cute * 3* Besides Victoria, she's old rofl But I really like how supportive SuJu, SNSD, and SHINee are of their new juniors! It's so cute~ SM FAMILY LOVE~

They made their first debut stage yesterday on Music Core. It was really impressive for their first stage, IMO. But I wasn't expecting anything less since SM artists are more or less always spot on with their lives. Their debut stage on Inkigayo today was a lot better but I liked their outfits on MuCore more so I'm sticking that here rofl

I swear, they're like the only girl group with rabid fangirls. AHAHA. I also didn't really like Lachata until they performed it too. It's definitely one of those songs that's better live.

They haven't made any appearances on shows or radios yet but I already love all 5 of them.

Amber is awesome for being such a tomboy. I love it. Although she made me question my sexual orientation due to the fact she looks too much like a guy rofl But then realizing she's a girl, I had to question my taste in women. I usually like those soft, pretty, and long-haired looking girls. Amber's just the complete opposite LOL But then I came to the conclusion that I don't like Amber, I admire her c: She's got so many fangirls, I'm envious~ She also makes me wanna go back to being boyish too. Aahh, what to do 8( AMBER YOU ARE AMAZING.

Krystal is really cute. At first, I was only interested in f(x) because she's Jessica's little sister. But then I started to warm up to the other members. Especially Amber ahahaha But I kinda feel for Krystal since she's always gonna be compared to Jessica. I still can't believe she's only 14 too fjoisfdjicfioja

Luna is so tiny~ It's absolutely adorable~ But the girl definitely packs a punch. She's a triple threat even! Good vocals, dancing, and charisma! I think out of the whole group, she has the most potential to go solo. She's like a mini-BoA haha But I'm glad that she's in f(x). It's kinda sad that she's the shortest in the group even with heels on though LOL

Victoria is amazing too. She's crazy flexible it almost scares me O_O She hails from one of the top dancing academies in China. Crazy stuff. It makes me giggle that she's the oldest in the group. She's even two years older than the majority of SNSD too fdsafsfs

Sulli is the cutest thing EVER. I swear, when she smiles, it's enough to melt the ice caps and kill off all the polar bears. No joke. To me, she's like a mix between Yoona and Sunny. Sulli's the image of the group and also provides the cuteness overdose. At first I only liked her because she was cute. But after watching her part in Punch Lady, I've come to like her a lot more. She's an awesome actress at such a young age O__O Auugh so cute Q___Q

I think f(x) is definitely a force to be reckoned with in the future. They've got buttloads of talent and potential.

These kinds of people make my life interesting

2009-09-06T03:52:00.001-07:00

I really love people who like to bitch a lot.

You know those people who rant about random things?

I find them absolutely hilarious.

Their rage is also contagious but it fuels more interesting conversations.

I love people who speak their mind.

Various feelings

2009-09-06T03:46:00.000-07:00

Right now, I really like being single for once c:

In all honesty, I don't think I'll ever get married.

Or even be in a serious relationship ever again.

But that doesn't bug me because I still have a lot to live for.

LIVE WELL AND ENJOY LIFE IN YOUR CHILD STATE OF MIND.

why I love SNSD so much

2009-08-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

If you ask me why I love SNSD, I'll tell you it's because they're nine talented and beautiful girls. Not just in looks but also their hearts.

I've watched videos and shows that they were in from when they first debuted up until now. They made me laugh, cry, and cheer many times. It amazes me how they've grown up so much in just two years.

However, what amazes me the most about them is their strong bond with each other. Many people will say that nine members in a group is just ridiculous, but ever since I got into them, nine is just perfect and I wouldn't have it any other way. Their bond is like the pure raw essence of friendship.

Because of them, I came to cherish my friends and family even more. I love you guys!

I love you SNSD! Fighting!

grocegrocegrocegroce

2009-08-16T16:43:00.001-07:00

Everyday since the beginning of this month, I've been drawing so much SNSD fanart. It almost disturbs me.

No, actually, it does disturb me.

And if I manage to somehow keep drawing more until the end of the month, not only will I be amazed but horribly disgusted at myself lol

I swear that once I fill up this whole month with drawing them, I'll take a break orz

http://superjacket.blog126.fc2.com/

what is this I don't even

2009-08-09T02:53:00.000-07:00

Ever have those times where you really want to cry for no real reason whatsoever? Like you know that if you do, you'll feel shittons better too. But even if you try, nothing comes out.

I don't really know what's up. Maybe it's the fact that I'm disconnected with everybody else now. idk.

Or maybe it's just build up again.

The more I push away all the negatives, the harder it'll come back to bite me.

I think I just need somebody to talk to.

There's a downpour and it's raining heavily in my mind.

Eck.

2009-07-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

I know I don't blog here as much as I used to anymore. In fact, I haven't blogged at all lately. I only updated my LJ once after AX and that was about it.

But yeah, AX...was fun. I actually got drunk Saturday night. But I didn't get completely hammered since I can still remember everything I did. Heck, I was even solving math problems with Mark properly.

I seriously went through most of the stages. And I would've probably went through all of them too if I lost my common sense that night lol

I think the problem that time was that I drank too much vodka all at once. I've had wine coolers before but those never got to me no matter how many I drank.

The only thing I regret about getting drunk that night was being a burden lol And when I started regretting it when Billy tossed me into the bathroom with Mark to catch a breather, hell I turned into an emotional drunk all crying my eyes out. I even told Mark my baaww sadlife story. But I guess it wasn't just Mark I told it to since apparently I was pretty fucking loud that I was waking up the straight edge people who were trying to sleep.

So yeah, that's probably the only part I regret. But I think if it wasn't Mark that was in the bathroom with me, I probably wouldn't have gotten that emotional. If Billy was in with me, I probably would've gotten aggressive cos I swear whenever he touched me I was about to snap at him lol

But yeah, congratulations, Mark, for getting a lesbian drunk rofl

GENIE.

2009-06-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

CRAP. The first time I listened to the 1min preview, I was already hooked. And now that I have the full version, I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO IT AAAAHHH

QUICK! LISTEN TO IT TOO.

I quite like this song better than "Gee." It's got a nice beat and got me grooving along to it with just the 30sec teaser.

The best thing about this song is that it's actually a proper song too. Not a hook song like every other kpop song that's coming out on the market. Even though hook songs are addictive (sorry sorry nobody nobody tell me tell me issue issue diva diva gee gee gee gee geee), they're everywhere right now so this song is a bit different.

Lawd. I really love Taeyeon's voice towards the end. So sexy and powerful<3

Man, I can't wait until the MV comes out. And I can't fucking wait until their performances!

Oh, I CAN'T WAIT TILL MY COPY COMES TO MY DOOR EITHER<3 srsly, I never buy CDs rofl But I guess SNSD is my only exception ahaha

SNSD HWAITING! :D

Seriously

2009-06-18T13:48:00.001-07:00

Seriously, no joke. I would turn straight because of these girls.

I would turn straight and then turn back into a flaming lesbian just for these girls.

Times like this I wish I were straight just so that I could say, "Yeah, SNSD turned me into a lesbian."

Totally.

I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THESE DAMN TEASER PICS FOR THEIR 2ND MINI ALBUM.

Seriously, DAMN. They're so gorgeous *______* And delicious solo pics.

And I don't care whether their legs are shopped or not. I highly doubt they are though since they've worn shorts and skirts before. Either way, those are some MIGHTY FINE LEGS.

Goddamn. Sooyoung looks so hot with short hair. Hyoyeon also caught my attention with these pics too. She was at the bottom of my favorite list but daaaanggggggg.

I am so glad that I'm a girl. At least I'm not some groce, creepy, horny, old guy LOL

THE TEASER FOR THEIR NEW SONG IS SUPPOSED TO BE COMING OUT TODAY TOO UGH I CAN'T WAIT.

BY THE END OF THE DAY, I WILL BE DEAD SO GET AN AMBULANCE READY FOR ME, OKAY?

FML

2009-06-15T21:04:00.001-07:00

UGH. FUCK.

Seriously. fml.

My tablet died on me a couple of days ago.

I went to my mom to ask if I can get a new one and she told me to wait until Friday, her pay day.

I know I shouldn't be impatient but UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. I'M IMPATIENT T___T

The fact that last time my old graphire tablet broke and got a new one the same day probably contributes to my frustration orz That and I had this baby for 6 years. Being tabletless all of a sudden really...sucks ass T___________T

Seriously, I'm sitting here frustrated that I can't fucking draw sum nice CGs n' shit. And I can't draw on paper cos I fail so hard I don't even have a pen or pencil. Baaaaaawwwwwww.

I really...want to draw more SNSD fanart too orz Especially after they released that damn teaser pic for their new mini album ugggghhhhhhhhhh.

I STILL NEED TO DO COMMISSIONS TOO GODDAMMIT. /wants to draw

/sadlife

Hello my name is Jacket and I like Ritsu/Mio

2009-06-11T22:34:00.000-07:00

Heeeeeeeeee. Ep 11~

It was like wtf is this cliche dramu in my K-On?

But I don't mind. Mother fucking Ritsu/Mio is now canon mmkthnx KyoAni for delivering. TRULUV~

Mio starts hanging out with Nodoka since they're in the same class. Ritsu gets jealous. Shit hits the fan during practice. Ritsu doesn't come to school the next day. Mio guilt trips. They find out Ritsu's sick and Mio visits her first. Mio tells Ritsu that during practice, it's lonely without her drumming and that she likes Ritsu's powerful drumming. Ritsu giggles and Mio's like, "dsifjoafjdso" and then tells Ritsu that she needs to rest and get better. She excuses herself but Ritsu grabs Mio's hand and asks her to stay with her until she falls asleep. Mio accepts her request and I squeed.

The end.

mother fucking nyaa bitch on your toilet

2009-06-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

Closet cosplayyyyyy

Fucking Azunyannnn.

The sweater vest I'm wearing is my gramp's and it's too bigggg. I dunno if I should just make it smaller or buy a new one since he still wears it. But idk where to buy a plain sweater vest like that baawwww I've checked everywhere in my area and nothing 8( LOLLI! HELP ME PLZ.

Need to get a red ribbon thing too. Durp.

And I'm gonna use a wig instead of my real hair. Which still hasn't came in yet D8<

I don't...normally wear skirts so the one I'm wearing feels too short jsdofajsoi

am i kawaii desu ka? =^____^= ugh so groce

ohsnaps

2009-06-11T12:21:00.000-07:00

Just came back from getting my nails did. Also got my fucking eyebrows waxed too.

I feel so...feminine now orz

Tomorrow's graduation and I feel more like a girl than an adult rofl

My nails are all pretty and my eyebrows aren't as thick.

What the hell is this? D8<

Also, for some reason my eyes look smaller after I got my eyebrows done LOL

I watched Up yesterday with Billy and Leo.

Such a depressing movie. Within the first 5 minutes I was already crying ahahaha

I SNUCK UNDER YOUR PORCH BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

Fun stuff

2009-06-09T00:24:00.000-07:00

Today was cap and gown pickup. Got my shits along with Billy. Ran into Rocio and Bianca so we talked to them for awhile about random crap. Then we hung out with Fran, Thea, Sydnie, and Mr. Acosta. Talked about different things. Ranging from high school, CC, annoying fgts and teachers. Pretty fun gossiping with a teacher.

I recorded most of the day on my camera too. But it's not really for the conversations but more like everybody's actions. Gonna miss that shit, y'know? ;| Gonna make I little video thingy with all the funny looking shit too which is why I'm trying to hang out with people all this week to film sum funny memories.

After we left campus, Billy and I called up Dave. It's been ages since we've last hung out with him so we were really happy when he actually picked up his phone.

We went to Sunrise Buffet to eat. Then made our way to Mitsuwa, Book Off, and Rising Sun afterward. Pretty much just our usual otaku adventure.

They kicked it back at my place for like 3 hours. We mostly talked about spiritual shit like ghosts and stuff all thanks to my brother. Now I'm too scared to sleep rofl But it's not like I could really sleep anyway since I'm tweaked from Red Bull lulz

My brother's being a wuss too since he's sleeping in my room right now rofl

But yeah, fun stuff. Fucking grad practice in a few hours. durp.

hey guise let's do this

2009-06-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

Watching ep 5 of HMF durrhurr

I wanna do magic chair too LOL Seems like fun but I'd probably fall once my chair is taken away rofl

I still lol at the apparent leg length difference between Hyoyeon and Seohyun xD

And I like how Tiffany was all like, "stopitstopitstopit!"

nucking futs

2009-06-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

Just came back from shopping for my graduation dress thingy with my mommy.

I still don't get why we have to dress formal when throughout the whole ceremony we'll have our cap and gowns on orz;;

Not to mention fucking sitting 2 hours in the sun 8'| Gotta remember to put on sunscreen.

But yeah, I got this glittery, light gold dress. It was the only thing we could find in my size Dx There were a lot of other dresses that I wanted to get but they were only in large or medium ~__~ There was this cute pink dress that I would've gotten if it were in my size orz And a light green dress too. baaaawwww why do I have to be so petite q__q

Kinda makes me feel sad that I could still fit in kids clothes orz;; Not to mention how I barely have anything in the boobage department so it was a bit harder to find a dress that wouldn't show my non-existent cleavage.

It's times like this where I wish I had boobs aughuhuhu

I also bought two pairs of shoes. I got fucking 4 inch platforms and flats just in case my feet hurt like a bitch.

I tried walking around in the 4in ones. Jesus fucking christ. How do people walk in stuff like that?

Better yet, how the hell does SNSD fucking dance around in heels? IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME.

But this is probably because I don't wear shit like this very often. Too feminine for me 8'|

I CAN'T WALK LIKE A LADY baaaaawwwww

But I've gotta practice walking in them. I hate how my last name is towards the end of the alphabet ಠ_ಠ

2009-06-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

What do you think memories are? Something precious that you'll always cherish, am I right?

But how are memories special if they're only distorted illusions of reality?

Memories are exaggerations of what really happened or we tend to leave out details. Would that make all of our memories fake? Lies even?

Even if I grow old and my memories gradually get even more distorted over time, the remains of what happened will always comfort me.

Comforted by lies, who would've thought?

But whatever keeps me loving you guys, my friends, I don't really care.

LOL MARK

2009-06-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of glad your balls dropped ROFL

Billy's voice was goin' through puberty too lulz

Ahaha sophomore year...

Oh hay sup you

2009-06-04T19:06:00.000-07:00

Today was technically my last day of class in high school. It still really hasn't hit me that I'm going to be graduating and will be starting a new life as an adult. It's probably because we're still going around getting cleared for graduation. Next week is graduation prep too. And then the 12th is the actual graduation ceremony. I don't think it'll hit me until the day before or the day of graduation. But man, what the crap. It really doesn't feel like I'm about to be a high school graduate. I mean, I still look like a little kid. I still want to be a little kid too ahaha;;;

Maybe I should take this time to type up something meaningful? Or maybe I should wait? idk

I wrote essays in my friends' yearbooks because I love them so much. But there's always a lot more I want to say. They need more spaces to write without having to buy inserts goddammit.

But when I do type up my high school reflection, I'll add whatever else I have to say about my dearest fwiends too c:

For now, I'm still just kinda dumbfounded.

ffffff

2009-06-04T03:24:00.000-07:00

idk whether I should be happy or not LOL

Little Yoona is growing up but wat her first kiss? orz

The hearts of many male SONEs have broken into many pieces. That or they're enraged.

I...just don't feel comfortable seeing it LOL It's like...BAAAAWWWWWW YOONA.

But it's all just acting so there's nothing I could really do about it anyway LOL orz

Hope she wins an award for Cinderella Man too c:

Cospwaaays

2009-05-29T16:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, I really need to organize my list of new cosplays and cons I'm attending this year again orz

CONS
☆ Anime Expo
☆ Comic Con
☆ PMX
☆ Anime LA

I might attend more but we'll have to see.

COSPLAY
☆ Ciel from Kuroshitsuji
☆ Taito from Vocaloid
☆ Oz from Pandora Hearts
☆ Azusa from K-ON!
☆ Hong Kong from Hetalia
♥ Pre-Timeskip Simon from TTGL
♥ Len from Vocaloid

I don't think I'll retire from Simon, Len, and Taito any time soon LOL

But yeeeaaaaahh. Finally decided who to be for K-ON! Since I'm usually the smallest one in the group, might as well be the loli-est, right? orz Carrie wants to put nekomimi on me too baaawwww

I STILL CAN'T FUCKING WAIT FOR ANIME EXPO AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I can show midriff too 8(

2009-05-28T23:34:00.000-07:00

I just realized my favorite cosplays now are Simon and Taito. Both of which are open shirt. I wonder what that says about me rofl EXHIBITIONIST MUCH?

But after seeing a few pics of my Taito cosplay, I've realized how much more work I need to put into my abs rofl Just need to tone them a bit more. Never realized it when I was cosplaying as Simon since my abs were always wrapped up 8'|

I WANT A SEXY BODYYYYYY.

Some pics from Fanimu

2009-05-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

A few pics I've found of my Taito cosplay so far durrhurr More to come later if I find anything 8U Click these fgts to enlarge or sumshit.

From the first gathering on Friday.

^ Hay look, I'm partially in the pic rofl

Second gathering on Saturday.

Kaito Rangerssssss.

awesomesauce

2009-05-25T18:18:00.000-07:00

Got back from Fanime a couple of hours ago and just woke up from my nap orz

Fucking Fanime was awesome. I didn't do much or go to any panels. I missed out on the masq so baaww but it was still pretty cool.

I spent most of the con cruising around by myself. A bit lonesome but it's all good since I was usually dead tired by the afternoon ;|

On Friday I hung out with some random peeps from the Vocaloid gathering. It's pretty fun hanging out with people you don't even know rofl

Saturday was pretty fun. Hung out with Mel most of the day. Also dropped by the AA and said sup to Talic p: Speaking of the AA, Mel and I got a grip of business cards from almost every artist who offered them rofl It's like a fucking deck of trading cards or sum shit lol

Sunday was amazing. Finally spent some quality time with Vivian's friends rofl We went to the Black and White Ball instead of Momoi's concert. Man, it was a blast. Screw prom, dude LOL I had to go to the dance in my Taito cosplay since it was the only somewhat formal and black outfit I had on me. I bet a lot of people thought I was a guy ahahaha I even had a few girls go up to me and asked if they could dance with me omg LOL It was awesome because Jose and I got center of attention twice during the swing dances ahaha Since I was so light, he was tossing me around and everything. By the time I landed and looked around, a huge crowd was around us ahahaha But since I was cosplaying as a guy, I bet everybody thought we were gay LOOOL SORRY JOSE! But man, it was fucking awesome. My body still hurts from last night too auuuuugh

I didn't take any pics since I was enjoying myself a bit too much to remember lol But it's not like I take pics at cons and upload them anyway ahaha

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFanime

2009-05-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

FFFFFFFFFFFF

TOMORROW I WILL EMBARK ON AN ADVENTURE TO UNKNOWN LANDS.

I HOPE I DON'T GET HORRIBLY LOST.

BUT EVEN IF I DO, LIFE EXPERIENCE!

I still wish somebody was able to pick me up from the airport q__q MY ARRIVAL TIME IS SUPPOSED TO BE AT 3:20pm AT SJC. SOMEBODY PICK ME UP baawww

So I've somewhat packed most of my shit. Only bringing two cosplays, Simon and Taito. So yeah, gonna be walking around all open shirt and ever so naked again 8'|

I'M QUITE ANGRY BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND MY GOGGLES FOR MY SIMON COSPLAY. WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY? I DON'T WANT TO USE MY CHEAP OLD ONES THAT I JUST PAINTED.

Fucking crap orz I hate it when you lose something when you need it 8| I mean, it's always been on my desk and I flipped my room upside down and inside out but nothing. iofdsfjoisfsjoia

I bet my stupid, ugly sister took 'em. She always goes into my room and steals my shit and breaks it omg I'm going to beat her so hard her kids will feel it.

I wish I could barge in and yell at her but she's already sleeping and so is my mom baaaaah

Whatever, I'll do it in the morning 8|

I STILL NEED PEOPLE TO HANG OUT WITH AT FANIMU BAAWWW

wasting time is what I'm good at

2009-05-21T20:36:00.001-07:00

1.Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do?
I wonder what retarded thing they had to do to get themselves into that situation. Maybe laugh if it was stupid enough? Facepalm? Probably depends on which ex it is rofl 8| idk maybe I'll save you if I feel like it.

2.Your best friend tells you (s)he's pregnant. What is your reaction?
I AM MORTIFIED. YOU'RE STILL IN AN ILLEGAL SITUATION WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND.

3.When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
idk. Playful punch or angry punch? cos I punch people all the time 8'|

4.Congratulations! You just had a son. What's his name?
Ryan, Ian, Elias, Noah, or Ace. idk I can't decide 8'|

5.Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What's her name??
Analei, Valerie, Lynn, Mae, Melody, or Khristine. idkkkkkkkkk so indecisive orz

6.What are you craving right now?
More curry pan, actually.

7.When you buy something and your change is a penny, do you keep it?
Nope.

8.What color is your tissue box?
I own no tissues!

9.Do you have a ceiling fan in your room, and if so, is there dust on that fan?
Nope. And even if I did, it probably would.

10.What is the last voicemail you received about?
I think it was about switching times for my driving lessons durr

11.Have you ever had a garage sale?
Nope.

12.What is the last beverage you had?
Calpis.

13.Are you happy right now?
I guess lol

14.Who came over last?
Fran.

15.Do you drink energy drinks?
Ayup. Monster makes me sleepy though. Rockstar, Red Bull, and Bawls are my favorite. Oh, those little energy shots work too but they taste like shit 8'|

16.Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
lolno

17.Dark or light jeans?
Dark

18.What was the last movie you watched at home?
Uh...Gurren Lagann rofl

19.What is in your pocket?
Moneyyyyy

20.Where do you hurt?
My wrist and my handd

21.What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart?
Uh...food!

24.When is your birthday?
March 27.

25.What are you going to do after this?
Start packing for Fanime, I guess? /procrastinates until the last minute

26.Who was the last person you went shopping with?
Fran.

27.What about your favorite dessert?
Ice cream or cakeeeee.

28.Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
Nope cos I'm unique 8'|

29.Do you like pickles?
Ew groce. /not an avid vegetable fan

30.What color is your couch?
Brown-ish?

31.Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?
idk if those random Flips that go up to you and start talking like they're related to you count rofl

32.Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
Currently? No. But I know a few who have been lol

33.Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Mommy.

34.How many hours did you sleep for last night?
Five.

35.Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Your mother OHOHOH

36.What is the last thing you spent money on?
Tape.

37.What is the last thing you ate that had onions in it?
idk.

38.Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos?
Puffy, bro.

39.The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. What do you do?
Oh what a fag 8(

40.Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook before?
Not yet ahaha

41.What color is your iPod?
I don't own an ipodddd.

42.What is your favorite key chain on your keys?
What keys? 8'|

43.Say you were given a pregnancy test right now. Would you pass or fail?
Fucking shit 8(

44.What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading SNSD fanfics. Not doing my essay. Laughing at Billy.

Happy Birthday, Mark

2009-05-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

Happy 18th birthday, Mark! You're now ~~pedo-status~~legal-ish like me 8D

I don't know why, but I feel like typing you a heartfelt birthday message right now. So I will.

Dear Mark,

Finally 18 years of being alive, amirite? Kinda weird. I still don't know why I'm typing this, but it's not everyday you turn 18. I think I'm getting a bit sentimental too since it's almost the end of the year. Let's think of this little message as my pre-message/sign for your yearbook ahaha

But anyways, thanks for being a great friend, bro. I've known you since 8th grade but I really didn't start talking to you until towards the end of freshmen year, I think. Since then, we've practically spent our high school career together as friends.

I remember how introverted you were at first but you gradually started to open up since I've met you. Lots of shit hit the fan during our high school days though. Everyday I notice stress and other things constantly get at you yet you still reluctantly get by. You're a bit helpless at times when it comes to your own personal problems, but who isn't, amirite? You're realistic but sometimes your realist view of things is too pessimistic for my liking. All I can say is just keep your head in the light, buddy, and things will probably go your way more often.

Even though we've known each other for a long while, I'm sure there's a lot more things I don't know about you. But I do know that you're a sincere guy. I know I tend to come off as an asshole-ish, ungrateful jerk who doesn't care, but of course, that really isn't the case lol

There are times when you annoy me because either I'm in a bad mood or... I'm just in a bad mood rofl There are things about you that I don't like too that I've already stated above, but I really charish our friendship.

It's still kinda awkward typing this since I see you practically everyday. But I know it won't be like that anymore after we graduate. And this totally strayed off from a birthday message to some random ramblings rofl

But in short, happy birthday, Mark. It's been interesting watching you grow up during our time at school. I hope that in the future you grow up to be who you want to be and have many more happy birthdayssssss~

MY TEARS

2009-05-13T00:48:00.000-07:00

THEY BURN MY FACE.

GOOD GOD I MISS ZONE T__T

It's been a long awhile since they disbanded but I still cry whenever I happen to watch their last concert and get all sad when their songs pop up on my playlist bawww

YUREEAAH

2009-05-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

I still love the way Fany pronounces Yuri's name ahaha Such an American accent.

Awesome Sauce

2009-05-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

These last couple of days have been pretty awesome.

Friday, Fran and I practically ditched school to hang out with the AP art kids since they didn't have to come to school that day. Ate breakfast at IHOP, went back to school for a bit, grabbed some lunch at Chick-fil-a, and hung out at the mall afterward.

But I think my cover was blown when we were leaving school to go to lunch LOL Actually, my cover was blown all around that day ahaha

When I was walking over to Fran's car that morning before the bell rang, I ran into Katrina who's in my 4th period class LOL I hope she didn't say anything.

Durrhurr but after we when we were leaving school to go get lunch, I think my 5th period teacher saw me ifjosfjosasofho I wonder what bullshit lie I'm gonna make up for him on Monday if that really was him omg orz Especially since I missed out on that test and I have a fucking D- too fisdfoajfdoijiorhaeoif

But Friday was a good day. Filled with shits and giggles. Laughing's a great work out.

Saturday I went with Shannon to a cosplay gathering in Irvine. I went as time-skip Simon while she went as time-skip Kinon. There were two other Simon there too. Another time-skip and the 1st Parallel Works one. The other TS Simon had the perfect Nia's ring so we were all waiting for our little princess to arrive so that we could all propose to her LOL It's a shame that this one Shirley cosplayer couldn't get her Nia cosplay done on time! Oh well, we'll just have to save that for AX or sumshit lulz

Shannon was lucky to have somebody be TS Rossiu. Little slut 8U

Since we couldn't find a Nia, we just gave the ring to Rossiu to propose to Kinon aughuhuhu

But having 2 TS Simon made me feel like I should've done pre-TS Simon LOL I wouldn't have the proper tape to side tape my chest down or enough for my waist, arms, and ankles orz

There were some pretty cute girls there ayup.

The Parllel Works Simon was a pretty cute guy too lol I think he was gay though. My gaydar was picking up some small vibes from him ahaha But it was fun hanging out with out little Gurren-dan. We even had an Anti-Spiral and claimed a hill with our Gurren Flaggan.

Fun fun. We even broke out into song while we were taking the group photo LOL

We kinda left soon after the group pic though. So tiring x__x

But then we took a detour and went to the Spectrum Center ahaha

Man, I love Irvine rofl

CUTE ASIAN GIRLS EVERYWHEREEEE.

It pissed me off whenever I'd see a cute Asian girl with a white guy though isfjodfosajfodsfjoas ahaha

BUT SHIT. SPEAKING OF CUTE ASIAN GIRLS. I'M STILL RATHER UPSET THAT I COULDN'T MAKE IT TO HOLLYWOOD BOWL IOAJFCIODSFJIOSDFJIOAHDFOIASHDOAIHDAIHD

idk browsing through SSF and seeing people post, "OMG HB WAS SO FUN. I EVEN TOOK A PIC WITH SNSD AND GOT THEIR AUTOGRAPHS!"

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I WISH I WAS THEREEEEEEEEEEE Q________Q /heartbreaks

But ahh, at least today is a kick back day.

Oh. Still can't wait for the 2nd ep of Horror Film Factory today! I was gonna watch it live streaming but I already missed 20mins of it so I'll just wait a couple of hours for a DD.

I love HFF though. It's like Punk'd: Horror Edition with SNSD rofl

First episode was funny when they pulled that prank on Taeyeon. I felt bad for her afterward though rofl If my friends fucking did that omg LOL I'd be all like, "Omg fuck you guys soooooo much" ahaha

Judging by the ep preview and a few reports, it seems like the 2nd ep gave the girls quite the freight though. Also lots of crying involved too. I really hope a majority of it is just acting though. I'd hate to see them cry forreals orz

ahaha

Yes. Today will involve lots of sleeping and the viewing of scared Korean girls.

I love my life.

Takin' it old school

2009-05-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

Holy crap. Do you ever have those times where some really old 90s pop song comes up on your playlist that you haven't listened to for years? And then when it happens, you just have the urge to search up more ancient songs LOL

This time it was S.E.S for me ahaha Man. It's been so long! I remember listening to them back when I was in elementary school. Which kinda amazes me to how long I've been listening to Asian music LOL

rofl Crap. Next to BoA, S.E.S was probably my second favorite artists at the time. Maaaan. /feels old

Don't be a dick

2009-05-07T21:06:00.000-07:00

Ahah.

So I was this close to getting into a relationship with a girl I met recently. I mean, she's cute and all but the main reason why I passed up the chance was because the last time I dated somebody without really knowing them for awhile...well LOL

Plus, she's 2 years younger than me and I don't want to feel like a complete pedophile right now ahaha q______q

But srsly, I have a couple of friends who have the tendency to hook up and start dating people they've only just met. Honestly, it bothers me. Sure, I've done it in the past but now it's like sidfojsfjios *self-control*

Like holy crap, stop thinking with your dicks for once plz. Just jumping from one girl to the next sfsfadfas What fags. Normally, I'm one of those people who can't say no too. But eh...it's better to say no than to just keep on lying to yourself or just hoping you'll eventually like them while you're in the relationship. Complete bullshit, amirite? I'M CHANGING MY WAYS, GUYS.

AHAH. But I know all my friends are gonna bite my head off for passing that chance up. They'd be all like, "OMG. SHE'S CUTE. WTF ARE YOU STUPID OR SUMSHIT?" orz Probably.

Maybe this would be an issue of personal morals vs getting laid, amirite? lulz

aw groce

2009-05-05T22:15:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I actually fangirl squealed to this. Somebody slap me.

Thanks for getting me back into SuJu, dearest aunt of mine.

But I still wish SNSD did things like this aughuhuhuhuhu SuJu really knows how to deliver that fanservice, amirite? shit.

Yes, I know. I'm a horrible slash fangirl Q____Q

lol?

2009-05-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

Oh man. Today, I was looking at some chat logs n' shits from way back. A total trip down memory lane. But what amused me most was how a few people were flirting with me. Especially when it was around the time when I was an active spriter for a few MMO projects.

It's kinda like, "Oh, did I get the position just because you like me?" rofl Or maybe it's because I was the only girl on the team. But they always treated me like some kind of princess, like always listening to my opinions and agreeing with them and acting all sweet. A few of them even confessed to me before too. So it's kinda like they were trying to suck up to me ahaha

I think I'm a bit mean and unfair though. Cos I looked back at what a certain somebody said which was, "Man, I hate lesbians. You can never get with them." LOL He..used to like me too rofl I remember when he said that, he didn't know I swung that way, and inside I was all, "Oh...LOLOLOL I'M SUCH A FAG."

And if I ever happened to fall for a guy, my standards are too impossible for somebody like me ahaha The chances of me ever opening up to a guy is very slim too. Too many past experiences made me reluctant to ever be in another relationship with a guy. haha how cliche is that?

But yeah, it's a bit amusing to look back at how many guys have liked me in the past. Not like I ever had huge ass harem status though. Or at least...I don't think so LOL Who knows how many people actually like me now orz SOMETIMES I WISH PEOPLE GREW SOME BALLS TO CONFESS MORE OFTEN. It gives me something to talk and ponder about 8U Cos I'm always dumbfounded as to why somebody would like me in the first place, y'know?

Like holy crap. Especially when somebody over the internet likes me. Srsly. Majority of the time, I will be horribly obnoxious. That and I fucking barely talk over MSN and AIM. I mean, you guys probably know, most of my replies consist of emotes or idkkkkkkk or lolol ahaha

So with that, I'm just gonna assume they just like me for my looks. Which is still a wonder to me since I'm a stupid ugly Flip 8'| Cos I know a few people were like, "When I first saw you, I thought you were really cute/pretty/sexy/hot." lolwat

idk, it's flattering and all but whenever people tell me that, I get uncomfortable and beat myself up over it. Probably cos I have self-esteem issues lol;; haah it's just..idk. Kinda strange?

But I just find it really fun whenever people say that they like me. It's amusing to think about why they do. Hah, an entry that isn't fangirling.

Don't you like how my non-fangirl posts are giant walls of text? AHAHA.

dramuuuus

2009-05-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

Delicious survey.

Oh lawd. I'd love it if Slam Dunk got a live action. Also Bokura ga Ita and Ouran LOL

Live action Ouran would be like heeeeeeeeee Hana Kimi all over again /nostalgic

But but but, a live action Bokura ga Ita would be heavenly for romance *___*

Also, lolwatjapan? Why would you want a live action FMA? orz

lol @ One Piece and Jojo though.

Can't stop lovin' ya tonight~

2009-05-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

Within 45min, I only got up to 2min down perfectly orz

But my favorite part is 1:45 to 2:00 anyway ahaha shuffling~ Although the rest is pretty easy so whatevs~

Such an old song, but I still love it orz

After this, it's D.I.S.C.O~

PFFFFT

2009-05-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

The things I do for you people and my fandom orz

Except..I'm not very fond of the whole JeTi pairing LOL TaeNy is my OTP and I was crying, cringing, and facepalming the whole time when I was drawing this 8'|

Excuse me while I go ~~draw a shitton of TaeNy fanart to cleanse myself~~cry in the bathroom.

The peeps on my art thread also want some kind of SNSD doujin now orz The sad thing is, I might q____q

A fanfic writer also PM'd me asking if I wanted to make a doujin or light novel with him ahaha

Part of me is like, "LOL DO IT FGT" while the other part cringes, facepalming at the speed of 80 miles per hour, and says I'm gonna go off the deep end if I do. But the former is screaming like a raging fangirl into my ear so...idk anymore rofl

All I know is, I'm gonna be pretty damn ashamed at myself at the end of the day q___q

DOKIDOKI

2009-05-03T04:38:00.000-07:00

IUUUUUUUUUUUU! SERENADE ME! ROFL

I wish she'd do a full acoustic cover of Gee though q__q Her voice is so pretty~

My measurements

2009-05-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

They're...really weird orz I haven't been keeping constant track of them but looking back at my old ones is like lolwat.

From 2005

B- 70cm
W- 55cm
H- 87cm

From 2008

B- 71cm
W- 65cm
H- 79cm

This part confuses me right here. Either I didn't measure right back in 05(but I'm sure I did since I always check multiple times before recording) or all that fat in my ass transferred over to my waist within three years ROFL

My new measurementssssss from todayyyyy

B- 72cm
W- 59cm
H- 83cm

So what I've noticed is that:

1) My chest takes forever to grow at least 1cm.
2) If I lose fat around my waist, it goes to my ass.
3) If I lose fat around my ass, it goes to my waist.
4) I can't seem to grow in all three areas at once.
5) My wrist is 12.5cm around rofl

SUMMER 09

2009-05-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

Not the finalized list, but still enough series to pass some judgment. And let me tell you something, I'M PRETTY STILL PRETTY EXCITED FOR SUMMER'S LINEUP 8D

I think it should be a no brainer as to what I'll be watching next season.

Aoi Hana, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 and Umi Monogatari are probably my top three picks. I've been anticipating them for quite some time now so I'm really giddy for more trailers and their airing isdofjosdfjsoi

Element Hunters, Umineko, Sora no Manimani, Hetalia, and Winter Sonata are next on my list. The rest of the series seem interesting but iffy at the same time ;| Staying away from Seitokai no Ichizon. I dislike a majority of trap harem anime 8|

Gee + Yodelehee

2009-05-01T13:45:00.000-07:00

I don't entirely like Kara, but this mashup/remix is one of my favorites.

Kara + Girls' Generation = Kara Generation~

creams

2009-05-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

HAH?

I think I just creamed myself a bit.

But it looks like she'll be apart of Internet's Vocaloid series and not Crypton's 8'| Oh well, more Vocaloid goodness.

Megumi Nakajima's Vocaloid character will probably be a lot more popular that Gackpoid though ahaha

lucky dog

2009-04-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

aww murr. I wish I was that dog 8'(

STOP IT

2009-04-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

OMG THESE FAGS NEED TO STOP STARING AT MY FACE.

Momo says: You know...
Momo says: the more I look at it, Jin's nose looks more like Seohyun's now
Jin is a fag says: what
Jin is a fag says: really?
Momo says: Yeah
Jin is a fag says: still looks more like tiffany's to me
Jin is a fag says: only thing i agree with you on is that her eyes look more like seohyun's for sure
Momo says: Naw, like...the bridge of her nose looks like Fany's
Jin is a fag says: yeah
Momo says: But the tip of her nose and ala look more like Seohyun's
Jin is a fag says: hmmmm
Jin is a fag says: hold on, lookin for pics right now
Momo says: Just go stalk Jin's Myspace or Facebook again and go on Soshified for Seohyun pics
Jin is a fag says: pffff
Jin is a fag says: i know that
Jin is a fag says: 8(
Momo says: Just trying to make your life easier, buddy 8(
Jin is a fag says: <3
Jin is a fag says: oh fuck
Jin is a fag says: wow you're actually right LOL
Jin is a fag says: LOLOLOL
Momo says: Of course I am
Jin is a fag says: 8U
Jin is a fag says: so now we can conclude that jinfag really is fany's and seohyun's love child
Momo says: ALL THE EVIDENCE
｜ω・) Jin says: ...
Jin is a fag says: WE HAVE IT
Jin is a fag says: OSHIT
Jin is a fag says: WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?
｜ω・) Jin says: I LEAVE
｜ω・) Jin says: FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES
Momo says: AHAHAHAHA
｜ω・) Jin says: AND YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT ME AGAIN?
｜ω・) Jin says: GOSH
｜ω・) Jin says: 8'|
Jin is a fag says: rofl
Momo says: LOL
Jin is a fag says: not my fault you're a hot topic ;DDdd
｜ω・) Jin says: PFFFFT
｜ω・) Jin says: oh good god guys
｜ω・) Jin says: stop staring at my face
｜ω・) Jin says: 8'|
Momo says: Can't help it. It's fun tormenting you
Jin is a fag says: :B
｜ω・) Jin says: YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL SO UNCOMFORTABLE
｜ω・) Jin says: Q______Q
Jin is a fag says: we're constantly molesting you
Jin is a fag says: with our eyes
Jin is a fag says: 8D
Momo says: Nah, I'm raping because I'm more hardcore than that
｜ω・) Jin says: 8((((((
｜ω・) Jin says: UGHHHHH
｜ω・) Jin says: GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
｜ω・) Jin says: GO HOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEE
｜ω・) Jin says: Q_________Q
Jin is a fag says: <33333333333

muscle spasms

2009-04-28T01:03:00.000-07:00

Ugh, dude. Don't you just find them weird?

Like your arm is all still and stationary and then one part of it like your biceps starts spazzing out.

It's so..gross LOL

I think I'm mutating aaaaaahhhhhhhhh

But I hope my arm turns into something cool like...a bionic arm or sumshit. NO MORE HAND CRAMPS AND CARPAL TUNNEL. HEEEEEEE.

durr don't mind me /lack of sleep

MY HEART!

2009-04-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

IT BREAKS YET AGAIN! Q_____Q

Man, I really wish I lived up in LA GODDAMMIT.

Damn, it makes me so sad. I REALLY wish I could go to Hollywood Bowl on May 9th! T__T

But I really don't want to go alone! Argh, I wish my friends here were into k-pop sofjoisfsoiifso

SNSD IS GOING TO BE THERE AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH

I'D SO PAY FOR THEIR TICKET TOO Q_______Q *wants to go badly* *willing to fork over $200+ for 2 tickets*

/mopes in the corner

WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO MISS CONCERTS FOR ARTISTS I LIKE GODDAMMIT.

JUST LIKE BOA'S CONCERT. FFFFFFFFF. *still sad over that*

facepalm

2009-04-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

Jin is a fag says: HAY
｜ω・) Jin says: i
｜ω・) Jin says: don't
｜ω・) Jin says: appreciate
｜ω・) Jin says: your display name 8'|
Jin is a fag says: psssssssh
Jin is a fag says: you know it's true
｜ω・) Jin says: the truth hurts bro
｜ω・) Jin says: 8'|
Jin is a fag says: sux balls rite?
｜ω・) Jin says: /sob
Jin is a fag says: ANYWAYS
Jin is a fag says: YOU SHOULD WATCH THIS
Jin is a fag says: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA9ERx0jNH0
｜ω・) Jin says: oh
｜ω・) Jin says: that one
｜ω・) Jin says: i've seen it before
Jin is a fag says: yeah, i'm not surprised
｜ω・) Jin says: pffffft
Jin is a fag says: BUT
Jin is a fag says: THE REASON I LINKED THIS ONE
Jin is a fag says: IS BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE TIFFANY IN THIS ONE
Jin is a fag says: LIKE HARDCOREITSNOTEVENFUNNY
｜ω・) Jin says: PFFFFFT
｜ω・) Jin says: SHUTTHEFUCKUP
｜ω・) Jin says: QQ
Jin is a fag says: DUDE
｜ω・) Jin says: sdofsijfoidsajfoie
Jin is a fag says: I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING HERE
｜ω・) Jin says: I CAN'T TAKE YOU SRSLY IF YOU'RE TYPING IN ALL CAPS
Jin is a fag says: I'M SORRY MY DEAR FRIEND
Jin is a fag says: THIS IS HOW I CONVEY EMOTION
Jin is a fag says: THROUGH THE INTERNET
Jin is a fag says: SHUTUPDON'TJUDGEME
｜ω・) Jin says: I'LL JUDGE YOU WHENEVER AND HOWEVER I WANT
｜ω・) Jin says: FAG
Jin is a fag says: *hurt*
Jin is a fag says: ;__;
｜ω・) Jin says: pfffft i don't care about your feelings 8'|
Jin is a fag says: dude, but srsly tho
Jin is a fag says: you=flip version of tiffany
｜ω・) Jin says: sdofioijsedfaoifseoaif
｜ω・) Jin says: STUPID UGLY FLIP VERSION AMIRITE?
Jin is a fag says: ROFL
Jin is a fag says: naaaaaw bro
Jin is a fag says: ur pretty ccccccc:
｜ω・) Jin says: ugh groce
｜ω・) Jin says: stop trying to hit on me 8'|
Jin is a fag says: not my fault you look like a korean superstar
｜ω・) Jin says: rofl
｜ω・) Jin says: shut up >8|
Jin is a fag says: i'm still pretty serious though
｜ω・) Jin says: liek super cereal
Jin is a fag says: oh totally
Jin is a fag says: i mean you got the hair, and almost the exact same facial features
Jin is a fag says: just replace her eyes with seohyun's
Jin is a fag says: FUCK DUDE
Jin is a fag says: SHE'S EVEN WEARING A GREEN JACKET
Jin is a fag says: WHAT ELSE IS THERE FOR ME TO SAY?
｜ω・) Jin says: DSOAFKSDAFJSDAOFIDAJFO
｜ω・) Jin says: STOPITSTOPITSTOPIT
Jin is a fag says: just get lighter and you're all set 8D
｜ω・) Jin says: pfft
｜ω・) Jin says: i'm workin' on it 8'|
｜ω・) Jin says: just bought myself a new bar of papaya soap
Jin is a fag says: rofl seriously?
｜ω・) Jin says: yup
｜ω・) Jin says: one step closer to forming that korean boyband
｜ω・) Jin says: \o/
Jin is a fag says: ur so ambitious and determined *admire admire*
｜ω・) Jin says: fag

goddammit orz

dsfafdsafdsg

2009-04-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

Normally, I'm really not into buttons/pins and stuff. I don't particularly care for them. But this time around, I went and bought some SNSD quote pins from Soshified orz;; I couldn't help myself, some of them were really cute and durrhurr favorite quotes. I wish I could've bought all of them but durr, don't have that kind of money on me atm orz

These are the ones I got:

Fany's infamous "Brighter than mushrooms" slip up and Sica's "Free drinks" are probably my favorites. Ahaha, if only they made a pin with Sica's "I want chicken burritos and cheese nachos" I'd be all over that one rofl

I was gonna get these ones too 8'| Maybe next time~

They should make fucking shirts or bumper stickers with these rofl

Hello, I'm a Narcissist

2009-04-26T23:36:00.000-07:00

Ever since my sudden burst into the SNSD fandom, I just found out how much of a narcissist I am 8'| Oh, it saddens me so much orz

So if you don't know by now, my favorite members are Tiffany and Seohyun. Especially since they're my ideal types of girls. I would date Tiffany because of her cute, bubbly, and outgoing personality. And I would marry Seohyun because she truly is my ideal type: tall, silent beauty.

But awhile ago, a few of my friends were saying how similar I was to both Tiffany and Seohyun in both personalities and looks orz Like how I have Seohyun's eyes and smile and Tiffany's jawline and nose. Like wtf guys orz It's a shame I can't be as tall LOL And then for personality, I'm pretty much a Seohyun if she wasn't so shy mixed in with some spazzy Tiffany.

So I'm sitting here, rather ashamed of myself. And I facepalm'd at the entire convo I had with those fags too ughhh The more I realize it, the more...arrogant/self-centered/narcissistic fag I felt.

But I think I'm okay since there are a lot more qualities they have that I don't and I admire them for. Especially Seohyun because she's diligent, hard working, pure, innocent, humble, multi-talented, and just the cutest thing ever. Especially towards her elders omg orz I feel quite happy that I'm a few months older than her. I want to go to a fansign event and have her call me Unni aiosdhfiohdsiofsdefaoiedsu LOL even though she looks a lot older and me /shotkill'd

Oh..the only thing that I'm afraid of if I marry Seohyun is that she'll start making me eat healthy OTLOTLOTL

Ahahaha but this is just me trying to reassure myself that I'm not a narcissist. I'm nooooot Q______________Q I LIKE GIRLS WITH QUALITIES I DON'T HAVE AAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH

strange urges

2009-04-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get these strange urges to do things late at night. Like tonight, I suddenly got back into Bokko for like 2 hours. Jesus Christ, I forgot how much of a work out that dance style is at times rofl

Quick feet and powerful arm movement...for 2 hours orz I think I just lost all that "fat" I gained now aaaahhhhhh /dies

OMG

2009-04-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

HOLY CRAP.

FUCKING FINALLY

Took you awhile, didn't it, Morinaga? 8'|

memememe

2009-04-23T00:35:00.000-07:00

▶ 今まで最も描いたと思われるキャラは▶（版権創作どちらも）
▶ What is the character you've drawn the most▶ (Can be original or fanart)
Ahhhh. Oh boy...*looks through galleries and sketchbooks*
It's probably gotta be between Simon, Kamina, Kaito, and Len rofl But I think..I've drawn Simon the most with Kaito in second...maybe. idk.

▶ 何色をよく使いますか?
▶ What colour do you often use?
uhh, I guess most of the colors I use are mostly on the left side of the color wheel?

▶ 使うのが苦手な色があれば。
▶ Any colour you are bad at using?
idk. But I know I'm bad at figuring out light source and stuff lol

▶ 人物を描く際に、何処から描き始めますか?
▶ When drawing people, where do you start?
Depends. Usually I start out with that basic circle outline and then start drawing the eyes. But it really depends which feature of a character I want to emphasize on. Sometimes I start out with drawing the nose first or the torso even.

▶ 消しゴムのカスさえ愛せるキャラクターは?
▶ What is a character only your eraser will love?
Any female character. As much as I love them, I have the most difficulty drawing females. So sad orz

▶ 完成までに一番時間が掛かった作品は?
▶ Which of your works took the longest time?
hmm. idk about this one. The thing is, I'm actually a very fast worker when it comes to CGing. The only slowest process is actually thinking about what to draw, how to draw it, and then actually drawing it out and finalizing the line art. That usually takes me from 30min to 2hrs depending on what I'm drawing. I tend to get distracted and take lots of breaks too. And coloring only takes me about 30~45min to do. I don't think I've ever worked an entire day on a picture before /lazy fag But of course, this isn't counting the assignments I have to do for art class LOL

▶ 絵が上手くなりたい時は、どんな手段を使う?
▶ What techniques do you use when you want to improve in drawing?
I look at tutorials, stare at muscle studies for anatomy, and stare at other peoples' way of drawing and coloring since I'm too shy to ask how they do it ahaha

▶ この絵を回してくれた人の絵の感想は?
▶ What do you think of the art of the person who gave you this picturememe?
Bah, I stole this from Annie who's pretty awesome. She draws the best Kaminas and her APH fanart is hella manly.

▶ 自分の得意な画材は?
▶ What art tools/media are you good with?
Ahh...I can only do digital art ahaha Even then, I'm not that good at it.

▶ 苦手な画材は?
▶ Art tools/media you are bad at?
My traditional stuff is just so jisodfjiosfjso No CTRL+Z IRL Q__Q OH. I HATE PALETTE KNIVES.

▶ 自分の絵に対してどう思う?
▶ What do you think about your own art?
I think it's very plain and composition is lacking. There's nothing exciting about my art, really. I hope I'll be able to grasp the knowledge how to draw out lots of movement, different perspectives, and expressions some time soon. Need to add some spice to my drawings, bro.

▶ 雑誌を参考にしたりしますか?
▶ Do you consult magazines for your drawings?
Sometimes. Mostly Google though. Pose references n' shits.

▶ 自分の絵で好きな処はありますか?
▶ What do you like about your art?
It's a love-hate relationship. I like my art because I can see my own improvement. I hate it because with every improvement, there are always a shitton of mistakes.

▶ 絵を描く時についしてしまう癖は?
▶ What habits do you have while drawing?
I always need to listen to music. Also eating at the same time ahaha

▶ 右向きの顔を描くのは得意ですか?
▶ Are you good at drawing faces facing right?
Uh..I guess I'm better than I was before? idk lol

▶ どの位の頻度で絵を描きますか?
▶ How frequently do you draw?
Everyday x:

▶ スランプの時の対処は?
▶ What do you do when you have artist's block?
Sleep? rofl That or try to get into something to spark some inspiration to draw again orz

▶ 絵を描く際に必要な物はありますか?
▶ What must you have when you draw?
Music and my pillow.

▶ 主線は迷い線が多いですか?
▶ Do you have a lot of stray lines (messy lineart)?
Kinda sorta. I try not to when I'm actually doing the line art though. But fffffff. I find making clean lines is very hard with a very small pen/brush size, which is why it takes me forever to finish line art orz It's easier to make clean lines with a thicker size but durrr~ I only use thick lines for more intense or bold looking pics, y'know? Depends x:

▶ 自分にとって絵を描く事は?
▶ What is drawing to you?
It's something I can't live without and I've sold my soul to ahaha

▶ 今後の目標
▶ Your goal from now on
Get better in all areas. Learn more techniques n' shits. PERSPECTIVE AND COMPOSITION baaawww

▶ あなたが影響を受けた絵師さんは?
▶ Artists you've had influence from?
Ahh..this is a bit hard. I would say some famous mangaka or something but I know my two biggest influences when I was younger was Yami and Mutsy. Yeah, I wanted to be as good as them. Still do p:

▶ 自分の好きな絵師さんは?
▶ Artists you like?
Annie, Emi, KL, Starshock, ES, ...fuck it, everybody on my stalk/f-list rofl

▶ 人と動物どちらが書きやすいですか?
▶ Which is easier to draw, humans or animals?
Humans fo sho.

▶ 今まで描いた自作漫画のタイトルを教えて下さい
▶ Please tell us the title(s) of your own comic(s)
Ahhhh. Shooting Star and Ambitious. Judging from these two titles, you can probably tell that I'm one of those fags who likes to load their stories with that whole hope theme, amirite?

▶ 昔の絵を見せびらかして下さい。
▶ Show us an old picture
http://i490.photobucket.com/albums/rr267/tofizzlefu/365.jpg
OH GOD. *cries* I can't remember what year I did this. But I know it was done with a mouse so probably when I was 11 or 12 LOL

▶ 自分の絵のチャームポイントは?
▶ What is the charm-point of your art?
IDK, YOU TELL ME. Everybody seems to comment on my coloring though idk dsafsfdsa

▶ ファンタジーと言えば、真っ先にどんな生き物を描きますか?
▶ What is the first thing you would draw if we're talking about fantasy?
A fairy or something homo

▶ 一発書きで自分が最も愛を注いでいるキャラを描いて下さい。
▶ Please draw your most beloved character:

It was between him or Yomi. But y'know, I feel more comfortable drawing Simon so yeah 8'|

▶ キャラクターを考える時によく思いつくのは女?男?性別無し?
▶ When thinking of characters is it mostly female? male? or androgynous/no sex?
Male. Easier and more fun to draw.

▶ 昨日は何の絵を描きましたか。
▶ What did you draw yesterday?
SNSD fanart /sob

▶ 一番描くのが楽しい部位はどこですか
▶ What is the funnest part to draw?
Lower half of the face LOL ie nose, lips, and chin. I like drawing hair too.

▶ 他人の絵で一番最初に見てしまうところはどこですか?
▶ What part of other people's drawings do you notice first?
Drawing style.

▶ 背景を描く際に、つけげ道にしてしまう書きやすいものってなんですか?
▶ Regarding backgrounds, what is your method of making it easier to draw?
If I were to draw a decent background, references fosho.

▶ 好きな配色は何ですか?
▶ What colour coordinations do you like?
Usually go for colors that contrast each other. I end up tweaking the colors in the end though so it's not like it matters rofl

▶ 一番最近描いたキャラは?
▶ What character did you last draw?
Russia x:

▶ 絵柄は変わりやすいですか?
▶ Does your style change easily?
Not entirely but I do have two different styles for when I'm drawing girls. One style is to match the style I have for my male characters. I'm more comfortable drawing in this style. But my other style is for more loli and moe looking girls. I dislike drawing in this style because I struggle too much trying to make their face really cute.

▶ 描くときに気をつけている、気合を入れる部分はどこですか?
▶ What part of drawing do you pay most attention to?
Line art. Most of the time when I draw, I start drawing the rough sketch with just the circles and tube things and then just start doing the line art without a proper sketch. By doing that, it just leaves more room for mistakes n' shiz but at least it saves some time >_____>

▶ How do you feel about drawing H pictures?
Sometimes I feel awkward drawing them. Especially when I'm not home alone rofl

▶ 人に絵を評論されるのは好きですか?
▶ Do you like criticism from others?
Yeah. Just as long as they actually know what the hell they're talking about and know how to fucking crit 8|

▶ how many people do you normally draw per artwork?
Usually one to two. Anything more than that tires me out =w=

We Got Married

2009-04-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

UWHOAAAAAAAH.

LOL JESSICA AND G-DRAGON? A NEW COUPLE FOR WGM? Oh man, this I've just gotta see rofl

The thought of it is actually pretty funny. I'd love to see the Sica Effect on Big Bang ahahaha

Last SNSD girl on WGM was Taeyeon who was together with Hyungdon. Pretty lulzy pair. I'd love to see how Jessica fairs if the news actually becomes official. I can imagine things being reeaally awkward rofl

idk if I want to see her with G-Dragon though 8'|~~I'd rather just have Jessica with her Yuri ahaha~~

I think it'd be even lulzier if Sooyoung or Yuri were officially on the show too. Shits and giggles all around, y'know?

foooooood

2009-04-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

Right now, this is...somewhat similar to my need for food.

HAY FOOD. GET UP HERE, MY ARTHRITIS IS KICKING IN ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

On a side note, Sooyoung's house is pretty fucking hueg, amirite?

way to go

2009-04-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

haaaah. This song always manages to cheer me up and energize me.

The MV makes me smile too.

durp.

I'M GETTING FAT! \o/

2009-04-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

Well, honestly, I haven't weighed myself yet.

But of course, like the narcissistic yet self-conscious fag I am, I always look at myself in the mirror. Like I've noticed that my cheeks look slightly rounder or at least have more shape to them and not look completely sucked in and bony. I mean, even a couple of friends have noticed too. They even said I look more like a cute girl because of it ahahaha Cos we all know cute girls need to at least have some kind of meat on them 8'|

I've also noticed when I'm wearing my brother's boxers, like... I've got this little muffin top stickin' out rofl Before it'd be just straight out flat ahaha

I've been eating a lot more often too and not even going to the bathroom as much to let the dogs out either. Ah... it looks like those vitamins my mom gave me are really working LOL

I only took 4 of them like 3 weeks ago though and stopped cos they taste like chalk orz But after I took the first one my period started up too LOL Ah, are multivitamins supposed to jump start your hormones? idk I guess I really was malnurished ahaha

Yah, but now that I'm gaining more weight, I finally have some fat to burn and work out to get a nice, toned, and sexy body durrhurrr

I'm pretty sure I'm still underweight though ROFL It's not like I'll gain much though. I still workout and dance to stay in shape BUT AT LEAST THIS IS PROGRESS!

FIGHTING!

Sentimental Fag

2009-04-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

You know sometimes, when I listen to this song, I start crying. Especially times like this lol;;

idk, sometimes it's just a mix of my own personal feelings or remembering the fact Tiffany is still able to sing this when her mom died. It broke my heart when I heard her thoughts about this song on Sukira (starts at 1:35) some time ago. Especially when she started crying too orz But I started getting teary eyed when she said how she really wanted her mom to hear this song and then I all out baww'd when she said she wanted to make her proud Q____Q TIFFANY~ FIGHTING! I want to hug her so much orz

But I would like to show this song to my mom sometime too. Maybe even sing it to her. Ahh, but that probably won't be anytime soon. As much as I'm a sentimental fag, it's still pretty embarrassing Dx

look look!

2009-04-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

A collab I did with Annie~ She did the original art while I colored it lol

She posted the original sketch on her LJ and she was like, "sidfsjfisofjs somebody color it for meeee~" so I did =q=

I find it rather funny how distinct both of our styles are. Especially my coloring lol I mean srsly, just by looking at the thumbnail you can totally tell I colored it like right off the bat ahaha

Uwaaaaaaah. I wanna do more collabs~! 8(