Beating but never touching.
Wouldn't that describe our hearts?

Connecting but never transferring.
Wouldn't that describe our relationship?

Data that transfers less that 0.1kb per hour.
A connection that disconnects constantly.
Two hearts that beat differently.

A treadmill that's at the speed of 10 miles per hour.
Yet we're only walking less than 1.

Fallen and scraped.

Always trying to reach out towards each other.
But fate makes it impossible to touch.

The hands of time.
You passed by me so many times.
But I can never hold onto you for more than a second.

I'm sorry

It's complicated.

I don't even know what to feel or how to feel or what to say.

It's complicated.

But I don't want to be the bad guy.

Feelings of sadness, loss, jealousy, and regret. They'll pass, right? They always do.

So it doesn't matter to me.

Because somebody like me

If I keep telling myself

That somebody like me doesn't deserve love,

I'll believe and accept it.

Because it's silly.

Love rips man apart.

A normal person doesn't want their hands stained with blood.

If that is what you desire. If this is what you desire. Then I won't fight back.

You can have them.

But what is it that they desire?

It's complicated. It's silly.

But I don't want to be the one who ruins somebody's happiness.

I can't deny you of your feelings.

It's fine. I can let go. Many times. I've tasted it.

Did you know

you can survive longer without food than you can without water.

If you have neither, are you a goner?

I've lost myself to a delusion.

I want to kill myself

I've been hating who I am lately. I try to distract myself but whenever there's nothing to do, the feeling gets worse. It feels like I'm running away. But I'd rather run away than be myself.

I don't like who I am, what I do, how I look, how I act. I want to kill everything and bury it.

It's horrible, it stinks, nasty, ugly. It isn't very cute or pretty to the eye.

If I kill the me I hate, maybe I would love myself.