lost like a lost thing

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffff.

Practically 7 weeks left of fucking high school. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

I want to leave so much but the stress it's giving me right now is scaring me and making me wish just a bit longer please ~____~

MIRACLE! MIRACLE! GIVE ME A MIRACLE!

I want to pass all of my classes! I want to dig myself out of this grave I'm stuck in! MOTIVATION! UP TO THE TOP!

/sigh

No matter how many times I ram my head into the wall it won't come down and my head is about to crack. Maybe next time I should just wear a helmet.

...If there ever is a next time orz

I still haven't even applied to any colleges yet eiofjiseofjdsoifs A bit too late anyways rofl But idk, should I just sit an vegetate for a semester after graduation? I know it's bad to just rot away my knowledge and skills that I've obtained during school but maaaaan. I just kinda want to sit and collect my thoughts. I don't even know what exactly I'd like to pursue. I know it's art but there are just so many things I could do with that. I don't even know where to start orz

I'm still debating what art college I should go to or if I should just go straight to the 13th grade and then transfer later once I get my GED done 8'| Decisions, decisions.

For college, I know I'd like to stick it here in California. Even though my mom says it's alright for me to go back to New York for college since we have friends and family over there, California weather beats New York by a mile 8'| Conventions too ahaha;;;

But even if I narrow it down to CA art schools, it's still hard to pick which one. I'd like to go to LA but the thought of moving out is kinda jisdofjisofjsoifjso I know my friends who moved out were happy to since they didn't get along with their parents, but I love my mommy q____q

Yah, so torn orz